The refrigerator door shuts. “I know.”
Hudson disappears into the bedroom. Within a matter of seconds, the noise skyrockets and then dwindles to nothing. The two monsters don’t even have loyalty to me. They blindly follow anyone who puts food in their cage. Traitors.
I set the pizza on the table and sit in the living room. If we’re going to fight I should at least be comfortable.
Hudson doesn’t subscribe to the same thought process. He stops on the outside edge of the couch, his arms crossed and his face pinched in agitation. “This is your last chance to tell me the truth.”
I stand, instantly more irritated than I planned on being. “Or what?” I hadn’t wanted to fight with Hudson, but when he opens dialogue with that… I’m not a four-year-old. He can’t threaten me into doing what he says. And the fact he thinks he’s going to stand there and be bossy and tell me what to do makes me want to tell him to screw off.
“I’ll leave.”
18
Icross my arms matching his stance. “First off, don’t threaten me, and secondly you can’t leave. Let’s not forget you’re being paid to be here.”
“I can tell Ridge to send someone else,” he lobs the threat in my direction and then smirks like he thinks he’s won.
But Hudson doesn’t have Marissa for a best friend. “What? You’ll tell your boss you can’t handle a white girl from San Francisco?” If there’s one thing Marissa has taught me in our years of friendship, it’s when in doubt go for their manliness.
His face falls, and he doesn’t comment.
Thought so.
“You’re hiding something, Amanda.”
“You’ve known me for less than a month. You don’t know me.” Okay, that was a little childish but sometimes the truth comes out like a two-year-old. Doesn’t make it not the truth.
“I can’t protect you if you don’t tell me what happened.”
Now it’s my turn to be tight lipped. Hudson has a point. It’s that I’m not sure who to trust and who to leave hanging on the side of the road. Hudson can’t understand how complicated this problem is. I’ve racked my brain every which direction to find a solution that would make it so no one gets hurt — where friendships don’t end and people don’t go to jail — but there isn’t one. Someone is going to get upset and be hurt. The person in the equation decided by me. It’s not a choice I look forward to making.
The best solution I’ve thought of is me packing my belongings in the middle of the night and moving as far away as possible. The southern tip of Florida came to mind. It’s the only way I won’t be forced to tattle. In my dreams Hudson asks me again to go to Pelican Bay, but I couldn’t live with the guilt of knowing I’m with a man who doesn’t know me. In the end I’m too selfish. I have friends here and who’d take care of Cupcake and Ginny?
He throws his hands up in the air. “I’m stupid to think we had more. That I could mean more to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you see?” Hudson sits in the chair next to the couch, and his chest deflates. He’s defeated. “If I meant something to you, you’d trust me with this.” His words are raspy, as if his throat hurts. “Not telling Ben is one thing, badges can be scary, but Amanda, you and I have a connection. At least I thought we did.”
“Hudson,” I start, but don’t figure how to finish.
“If there’s anyone in the world you can trust, I’m one of them. I’d never let anything happen to you, Amanda. Not because I’m getting paid, or because it’s my job, but because what I feel for you is real.”
I sit quietly as a tear forms at the corner my eye but doesn’t fall. His words are the best I’ve heard from any man. No one has ever professed love for me in such a way… At least I think that’s what he was doing. I wasn’t sure Hudson felt the same. Even if he has told me before, apparently, I’m as stupid as my friends would call me if they knew.
He stands from the chair, agitated all over again. “I should’ve known it wasn’t the same for both of us.”
I’m seconds away from telling him exactly what I want and putting on the line when his comments stops me. “What isn’t the same?”
“You have a great life here in San Francisco,” he says, his arms open wide to the room. “You hang out with a bunch of billionaires and their wives. Obviously, you’ve decided that’s what you want in your own life. Live like one of your rich friends and get a life of grandeur.”
“Excuse me? Don’t put words in my mouth or dreams in my future. You’re what I want in life.” How dare he stand there and presume to know what I’m looking for? And frankly I’m offended for my friends. Sure, they were lucky enough to meet super rich guys, but not one of them have changed because of it.
Yes, Simone’s shoe budget is bigger, but she’s also right there with us shopping at the same thrift store we always have.
There are times I honestly forget most of them are worth more than the gross national product of small countries. Can you be a mega billionaire? Because with Finn’s latest game sale, I’m sure he and Aspen will be pushed into the new category.
“I’m not putting words in your mouth. I’m seeing what you say. I’m thirty years old. I live in Maine in a one-bedroom apartment and I work a job that can be dangerous. I get I’m not what you’re looking for in a partner. I just wish you were honest and up front first.”
