Crescent leaned across the center console, giving me a quick, sweet peck on the lips. Kissing him was one of my favorite things to do lately, which was fucking insane if I thought about it too hard. It’d always been me and Crescent against the world—I just never thought for a second it’d be like this.
We walked, hand in hand, to the front door. Every noise and gust of wind had me on high alert, searching the world around me for something that wasn’t even there. Remembering dark, cold, and lonely nights alone on the front porch because I’d been locked out again. Or the shadow of feet walking in front of me as I kneeled on the floor, waiting for Jude to deliver a punishment I undoubtedly deserved.
Each memory existed in the world as a whole. It sang tome with the rush of harsh wind or leaves skipping along the pavement. I could point out every crack and stray rock, giving each one a silent witness to one of the worst nights of my entire life. There were too many to count, all of them boiling down to one thing, one person, one emotion: captivity, the devil himself, and fear.
The door had a little bell chime right as we entered. It startled me for a second, just enough to have Crescent tighten his grip on my hand.
Looking around, I noticed all the chairs in the waiting room. They looked comfortable, more like actual love seats than anything. There was a water dispenser right in the middle of the room, along with the soft sound of white noise playing from some sort of machine on a desk close to the front.
A kind-looking woman guarded the front desk, smiling over at us. I looked to Crescent anxiously, hoping he’d give me some sort of strength I wasn’t sure I had in me. He led me up to the desk with another smile, full of confidence. In me or in himself, I wasn’t fully sure.
“How can I help you, honey?” The lady looked at him expectantly.
I shifted my weight, clearing my throat. “Um, I have an appointment with Christina Higginson. I’m Elio Hampton.”
“Okay, I’ll just have you fill out these forms here, and Christina will call you back shortly.” Her voice was even and soft, but not quiet like I’d expected. She handed me a clipboard with a stack of papers on it, along with a pen.
I took them both and let Crescent guide us to whichever seat was the farthest from the front. We went over each sheet of paper, filling out a ridiculous number of questions. The appointment reminder had told us to come fifteen minutes early, and now I understood why.
Some of the questions, I didn’t even know the answers to. Like if certain diseases ran in my family. Contact with my family became a rarity once I’d moved in with the Millers, and became nonexistent when I moved in with Jude.
“Elio?” A woman at the front called out for me, searching the room.
A rush of adrenaline pumped through me at breakneck speed, my heart suddenly skipping beats—or adding them, or something along those lines. I felt nauseous and unsteady, reaching out for something invisible to hold me up.
Crescent rubbed my upper arm. “I’ll be right here, Sunshine. Take your paperwork with you, and just remember that I’m here.”
I kept the clipboard close to my stomach as I got up and finally made my way toward the woman.
“Just this way.” She led me to a room off to the side, closing the door behind us. “I’m Christina. It’s nice to meet you, Elio. You can get comfortable on the couch, and I’ll be sitting in front of you with my laptop, okay?”
Christina also looked nice. Was that just normal, and I was somehow broken for expecting anything different? She had beautiful curly hair, and the pink lipstick she had on was perfect against her skin. Her eyes looked kind, with the perfect amount of soul in them. An old, wise soul despite her young appearance.
Honestly, what was up with therapists and couches, though? It was comfy—don’t get me wrong. But I could’ve sworn I’d seen memes and videos about therapist offices, and I was pretty sure I’d seen couches in all of them.
It was a big three-seater, the cushions so soft I thought they were going to swallow me whole for a second.Christina sat in a chair right in front of me, one that looked just as comfortable.
“I won’t have my laptop like this usually, but I have some stuff to fill out during our initial session. Is that okay, or would you like me to put it away and use a notepad?”
“That’s fine. I, uh, have the paperwork with me if you want that.”
She shook her head, smiling. “You can leave it on the table. I’d like to hear things straight from you first, if that’s alright. The paperwork can wait.”
“Oh, okay.” I reached across and set the clipboard down on the table, taking time to look over everything on it.
There were magazines, a box of tissues, and a box with what looked like coloring books and crayons in it. Looking around a bit, I noticed she had bookshelves on either side of the room, filled to the brim with different kinds of books and trinkets. Cute, fun decor with therapy puns was placed on a few of the shelves, along with some children’s toys and even a jar of glitter with water inside it.
On the wall behind her, there were pieces of abstract artwork. Nothing of any substance—one of them a painting of a dog with a bow tie, the other nothing but colors meshed together. At the top, right in the center, was a clock. The time was stuck on twelve, neither hand moving. Underneath it was a display box with the words“Healing doesn’t have a time limit”in swoopy cursive.
“Are you comfortable telling me a little bit about why you’re seeking therapy?”
I shrugged, not yet willing to look into her eyes. “I recently got out of a pretty bad relationship. Or, well, more like my… um, Crescent rescued me from it.” I cringed internally, not willing to call Crescent just a friend but not knowing what he was to me anymore. I just knew he was more. He was everything.
Christina nodded along, her face positive but impassive. “This is a really big step. I’m very happy to hear that you’re away from that situation and decided to come see me. How long was that relationship?”
“Almost ten years. I’d known it was bad for a while, but didn’t really have it in me to leave, you know?”
She typed on her laptop as she talked. “Absolutely. That’s really hard to navigate, but I’m glad you had someone support you and help you. Is Crescent a friend of yours?”
