I stood, staring at the memory captured on canvas, feeling everything I knew existed within it. At the top, a pink sunrise began to take over the sky, narrowing into shades of orange and yellow. Below the horizon, the trees started to flourish, the tops of their leaves just below the clouds in the sky. In the middle, the park came into view, leading the perspective off to the side.
Amongst a field of daisies were two figures, who I assumed were Elio and me. My hair fell free against my back, and my arm was wrapped around Elio’s waist, holding him close against me. Just to the left of us was the small pond no one ever got close to.
Daisy petals littered the surface of the water, spread out, yet free. Wind blew green leaves across the park right in front of us, our heads tilted toward the pond. We were watching it together, existing in the space we’d made ours.
And everything was so fuckingbrightandbeautiful,I wanted to cry.
Elio shifted from one foot to the other beside me. “Do you like it?”
I turned to him in awe, practically speechless. “Do I like it? Sunshine, this is fucking amazing. Oh my fucking god.” I leaned just a bit closer to look at some of the details on the trees. Even most of the grass blades had what looked like shading on them.
“It’s not finished yet. But I wanted you to see…” He trailed off for a second, looking straight at what he’d painted. “See what hope looked like for me. What years of missed opportunities looked like.”
I looked from the individual trees to the pond right by our figures. I couldn’t stop looking over every single detail, absolutely stunned by what I was seeing. And he said it wasn’t finished? “I think this is what hope looks like for me, too.”
“I want to kiss you again. Is that weird?”
“I don’t think so, no.”
“Even after everything with Jude?”
Gently nudging him with my hand, I turned us until we were face-to-face. “Is it too much or too soon for you?”
He shook his head.
“Then I definitely don’t think so.”
I watched as he looked between my eyes. He searched them, communicating through our souls, looking for an answer we both craved without even knowing the question. “Can I kiss you, Crescent?”
“You don’t even have to ask, Sunshine.”
“Can I kiss you without wondering what it all means? Without asking questions I’m not sure I’m ready for?”
I cupped his cheek in my hand, stepping closer until I could touch our noses together. “Whatever you need. Whenever you need it. I’m here, and I’m never letting you go.”
With the painting as our backdrop, guiding us onto a new trajectory, our lips met once more. I took his worries with me, savoring them, harboring them despite everything that was slowly piling up inside of me.
I just wished I could handle more and take all of his pain away for good. But I’d slowly started to realize I may not be enough, and that thought scared me more and more with each passing second, each disembodied scream, and every shadow I saw racing around me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
We satidle in the car, waiting for my heart to stop pounding out of my rib cage. The building in front of us seemed innocuous enough. A brick base with white doors and pristine windows, the words “Sacred Heights Therapy and Counseling” plastered onto them.
The car’s windows weren’t tinted enough for me to feel comfortable. I mean, what if Jude suddenly decided to come to a therapist’s building, saw me in Crescent’s car, and took matters into his own hands? Yeah. How fucking logical was that? But itcouldhappen, and that was all it took to terrify me.
Crescent took my hand in his, holding it in a tight, secure grip. “You’re going to be okay. We just have to walk across the parking lot and into the building. I’m right here with you.”
I nodded, despite it not helping all that much. Sure,having Cres with me was great and all, but what if? Always the fucking what if.
“Let’s go. I’ll help you fill out the paperwork, and when she calls your name, I’ll stay in the waiting room. I won’t leave until you’re leaving with me. Sound good?”
I blew a breath out, squeezing his hand. “Yeah. Sounds good.”
He smiled, big and handsome and all Crescent. I adored his smile, even if it didn’t seem to reach all the way to his soul. I could still see the hesitance behind his eyes, like something was holding him back from truly meaning the happiness he tried to portray.
Once again, he had his earbuds in. I wasn’t sure if he ever took them out, honestly. I thought about asking him more questions about them, but ultimately decided against it. I wasn’t sure what was right to question him on and what was overstepping when I was the one who left him in the dust years ago.
But I wouldn’t go further down that rabbit hole for the moment.
