Ever thought about it. He knew which dog he was in that scenario. “How do people do it?”
“Do what?”
“How do they go through life pretending the bad stuff never happened?”
“Some forget with time, some stuff it down with drinking or drugs or sex or food. Some develop weird kinks and coping mechanisms. There is no one way to deal with trauma.”
“Kinks? What’s a kink?”
Arsen thought about it for a long minute. “People whose sexual preferences are considered outside of societal norms.”
Ever chewed on that. “Like what?”
“That seems like a conversation for another time.”
Ever frowned. “Why?”
“Because you were held hostage for most of your life by a person who hurt you and forced you to do things against your will.”
“I can’t talk about kinks because I have trauma?” Ever asked.
Arsen shook his head. “Not exactly.”
“You said people with trauma sometimes turn to kinks, so why can’t I know about it?”
“I also said they turn to food. Do you want to ask me about that instead? Between kink and food, ice cream seems like the lesser of two evils.”
“So, what do you use to cope?” Ever asked. “Not kinks, I guess.”
“I don’t know, honestly. I guess I’m one of the ones who stuffs it down.”
“Do you not like sex?”
“What? No. I love sex.”
“But not kinky sex?”
“Ever!”
Ever’s eyes went wide and he recoiled, heart slamming against his ribs. “Never mind,” he mumbled, then flopped over, facing the wall, tears welling in his eyes.
Then Arsen was behind him, plastered against his back, arm around his waist. “Don’t be like that. Don’t pout. I…just didn’t think sex would be something you’d want to talk about.”
“Why?”
“Because you said she sold you to people for sexual purposes.”
Ever bit down on the inside of his cheek, his face so hot it felt like flames were licking his skin. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know much about sex. He read about it in books, mostly in perfunctory terms because Jennika was very strict about what he could read. But what they’d done to him and what sex sounded like in novels didn’t really seem like the same thing.
“And because of that, I shouldn’t want to know about sex?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Do people like me just not have sex? Normal sex? I don’t even know what that means.”
Ever could feel Arsen’s breath ruffling his hair. “You’ve been in a horrible situation for years. I just think it’s better to concentrate on other things…for now.”
“Like what?” he asked dully.
