She doesn’t, and keeps her eyes on the street behind me.
“Cignette.” I run the pad of my thumb over her cheek. “Look at me, please.”
That shifts something in her. She brings her gaze to mine, and when I scan her face – the openness on it – I let go of an exhale and say the words I’ve known to be true for a while now.
“I love you.” I pull her closer to me, and watch as she inhales sharply in return. “I fuckingloveyou, Cignette Adler, and I won’t be able to do any of it without you. Living, breathing, functioning – none of it. I’ll need you by my side every step of the way, so I want you to get a hold of yourself and stop feeling sorry for the both of us. It’s not going to help anyone, and it’s not the way to honor Jayce and Maverick. So yeah, whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me, and I’m too fucking selfish to let you hurt yourself.”
She cups my wrist with one hand, and fists the front of my vest with the other. She looks dazed, almost shocked.
“Say that again,” she rasps, then sniffs.
I bend and touch my nose to hers, making sure to keep my eyes on her. “I love you,” I repeat myself. “I think I’ve loved you for a while now, but I kept pushing the thought away in fear of rushing you with it. Every time I’d feel my body buzz in your presence, or feel a welcoming weight on my chest when you were near, I knew; knew what the fuck it meant. And as much as I’ve loathed the term for the power it holds over us, I can’t deny that I feel it for you. I’m in love with you, and it’s a thing that’ll never go away, because it’s instilled into every fiber of my being.”
She laughs, and then she cries. She fists my vest tighter, then tilts her head to the side and places a kiss on my lips. “And I loveyou. I’ve known it since the night you took me to that hill after Varsha killed Gavin. You told me then how love made you weak, but all I could think about was how much stronger I was, simply by knowing I loved you. You help me fly, Dorran, and it’s something I’ll forever be grateful for.”
Hearing her say these things is overwhelming. It’s thrilling and terrifying, and I’ll never get tired of it, despite knowing that I don’t fully deserve it.
“It’s all you,” I tell her. “It’s always been you. Whether it was surviving your mother’s cruelty or standing up to her. Whether it was ending Riley’s life for his intentions towards you, or killing your father for what he took from you and I, you did it all by yourself, Cignette. And as much as I’d like to take credit for your strength, I won’t, because you’re a force of nature – one I’m more than happy to stand behind, and not overshadow.”
She cups my face and pulls me down to kiss me, and I wrap my arms around her middle and kiss her back.
She tangles her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, and my body hums against the pressure. “Promise me that you’ll never leave me,” she commands in between kisses.
“Never. And if I’ve ever given you the impression, then I’m sorry.” I press her body against mine. We’re so close that we’re sharing the same breath. It’s perfect. It’s everything.
“No…” She opens her mouth and kisses me harder, and I can only keep up with her. “I love you, Dorran.”
“I love you, Little Swan.”
The rain picks up again, but Cignette and I continue to hold onto each other. As long as I have her, and she has me, we can take on anything together. Broken and battered and bruised – she is it for me, and I can only hope that I’m enough for her.
The Flawed Princess and her Bloody Prince – we’re a tale not many know about, but maybe one day they will. Maybe someone will write our story onto pages, and if they do, I wonder if it’ll resonate with those who read it.
Not every love story is inked in blood, but mine and Cignette’s is. And it’s okay, because it’sourmisshaped reality – the only one we know.
The only one we’ll always know.
Epilogue
1 year later
Iplace a hand on top of the gravestone, then settle down next to it. I set the pink rose I’m holding, in front of it, then sniff against the burning sensation in my nose. “Day 365 without you,” I start, then swallow. “Still hasn’t gotten easy, but I promise you that I’m trying.” I glance at the inscription on the gravestone, and read it over and over until it starts to blur and I have no other choice but to look away.
In loving memory of
Maverick Justinian Constance
1982 — 2023
Protector. Friend. Professional eye-roller.
It was today, one year ago, that Dorran lost Jayce, and I lost Mave. The two of us have been taking things slow, and even though it hasn’t been an easy process, we’re doing our best with it.
I look ahead, squinting against the sunlight, and see that Dorran, Varsha, Alex, and Solo have knelt around Jayce’s grave. Dor and Solo seem somber, but Alex and Varsha – they appear completely crestfallen.
Burying Jayce with his family was not an option, since he’d cut ties with them years ago. And, because Mave didn’t have a family of his own, him and Jayce were put to rest a few feet from each other.
I sniff again and smile down at the gravestone. “Remember that construction guy I’ve been telling you about?” I chuckle, then flick a tiny piece of rubble with my forefinger. “I asked him to fix the countertop yesterday because it didn’t look the way I wanted it to, and when I turned around, I swear I heard him call me a menace.” I laugh, but it turns into a sob. “Fuck, I miss you, Mave.” I close my eyes and will for the tears to stop, but they don’t. And when a soft, feather-light breeze touches my wet cheek – almost like a caress – I suck in a breath and open my eyes. A chill runs through my very bones, leaving me stunned.
