“Price, her boyfriend or whatever. He’s irrelevant.” Bev’s head swiveled back and forth between the two of us.
“Well—”
Before Sheila could finish her sentence, Bev cut in.
“He is, Mom. He means nothing. Just a stupid boy,” Bev spat. “This is all stupid. Look, Emerson, I don’t know what you hoped for. Some juicy gossip, a beautiful family reunion, to use me and my mom, or who the hell knows. But none of that is going to happen. What can I say?”
Glaring at me, Bev went on. “You and I are not friends. And your mom—if she is your mom—she’s got a ton of problems. Starting and ending with swallowing anything that makes her feel good. Drugs, alcohol, whatever. She can’t even take care of herself, let alone you. You should be happy she’s not in your life. Look at my mom, her best friend, suffering with cancer, and you’d think Paula would be here? Nope. That’s Paula, the famous Paula Dubois you’re looking for. Selfish to the core.”
Sheila held up a hand. “I don’t think you’re being very kind, Bev. Stop.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, but she didn’t make her way toward me. She placed her hands over her cheeks, and her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “Oh God, you’re Paula’s daughter. I remember when she had you.”
“I’m being more than kind, Mom. We don’t need someone to use us for Paula.” Bev continued to glare at me, but her mom ignored her.
“You look a lot like your dad. I’ve only seen a picture, one picture, a long time ago.” Sheila sat on a kitchen stool and caught her breath. “Your mom had such a major crush on him. She loved him, or thought she did, but her parents wouldn’t have any part of it. And then she ended up pregnant. They were irate, sent her to some spa place for the duration, kept her out of the Upper East’s eye. At first, she refused to put you up for adoption. She came home to deliver you in New York, demanding her parents accept you. Only a few days later, she said she couldn’t do it. I had Bev at that point, and couldn’t do much for her.”
Biting my lower lip, I thought about what she’d just said. “So, I’m the reason for all of her problems?”
Sheila shook her head. “No. She’d dabbled for a while in drugs. I think the only time she’d been under control was the month she’d stayed with your dad, and then while she was pregnant with you. After that, it was a brutal spiral. She’d do well and then not so well. For a while, she held it together. Was teaching and painting. Then she got married to someone else, but he was a man of few words and a lot of money. She blew through a big chunk of his cash, and he ended up walking out.”
I don’t know why I cared, but I asked, “Didn’t anyone try to help her?”
“For real?” Bev glared daggers at me. “I spent my childhood watching my mom try to help her. When that dickhead husband of hers got smart, she really fell apart and stopped talking to anyone. Been ‘on leave’ ever since.” She used air quotes, her fingers slashing the air.
Sweat beaded along my lip and behind my neck. This wasn’t what I wanted for anyone. For me, my mom, or Bev and Sheila. “You acted like she was so nice when I asked about the painting.”
“Becausemy momalways insisted we don’t tell tales or stories about others’ hardships. Now that it’s your reality, I don’t give a crap. God, I thought you were going to be my friend.” She slammed her fist onto the counter. “Now you got what you really came for. Now you have the awful truth.”
Sheila stepped toward me. “Paula always regretted leaving you, but she wasn’t in the right way to find you, do you get that? I didn’t encourage her to keep you, and maybe that was wrong, but she was a mess. And no one wanted to hand that over to you.”
Bev scoffed. “So, Paula suffered? And you feel guilty about it? Mom, let Emerson be. She asked for this. She had a good dad, a good life, love, and none of this was her burden.” Bev turned to me, her face pinched. “I want you to go, Emerson. Leave. Just go. I can’t do this. I’ve had to give up everything important in my life, and this is one more thing.”
I didn’t argue or plead my case. Without another word, I turned and left. After all, Bev asked me to.
Sheila called after me, “Emerson! Wait.”
The pull of her daughter was stronger than me, and Sheila didn’t chase me. Was I surprised?
Not one bit.
I ran with my tail between my legs, all the way back to my apartment ... and picked up the phone.
Emerson
“Dad!” The second the call connected, I began to sob. I didn’t even wait for him to say hello.
“Emerson, what’s wrong?” Immediately, he went into Dad Rescue Mode. That’s why I called him. When I wanted something fixed, I ran to my dad. He’d been my constant.
“Did you know?” My heart pounded at a furious pace while I waited for him to answer, afraid of what he might say. Would I feel differently about him if he had?
I’d fallen on my bed in my shitty apartment, in a heap of dirty clothes and tears, missing my bedroom at home for the first time since coming to New York.
“Know what? Robby said you guys broke up. Is that what has you upset? Baby, your heart will be broken a million times before you settle down. It should be ... that’s why I didn’t want you to give everything to him.”
His voice was steady, just like always. My dad was my rock. In light of recent information, I wondered what would have become of me if he hadn’t kept me from making that huge mistake.
“Not Robby. I don’t care about him.” I pushed my head back into the pillow and cried hard.
“Em, you’re worrying me. Tell me what’s wrong. I’m not mad at you. I love you. Nothing could make me stay mad at you, I swear. I’ve been giving you space because that’s what you needed. I trust you. Look what an independent woman you’re growing into—”
