A heartbeat later, Syd lowered her hand to my shoulder. “And I with him,” she said above a whisper. She squatted next to me, wrapping her arm around mine and laying her head on my shoulder.
I lowered my head to kiss her forehead.
“He did talk about you a little bit.”
Syd lifted her head and turned to me.
I nodded, still staring at the headstone. “Said he had a little girl. He didn’t get to see her since her mother left him.
“Was a long time ago. She and her mother are better off without me. Now quit bitching and thinking you’re the only one with a fucked up family and go hit the bag.”
“He said that to you?”
“Sure as shit. It was right after my father tracked me down at Banks’s gym, about a year after I’d been training with him. I’d entered the NFA by then and had made the news for one of my fights. That was how my father was able to find me.
“He tried to guilt me into going back to school, finishing and going on to med school like he and Anna had drilled into me ever since I could remember. After I told him to screw off, I went to Banks complaining about my father. He told me to get my head out of my ass.”
“Seems like a charmer.”
I stood and brought her to stand with me, my arm around her shoulder. “Where Banks came from there was no room for charm. He didn’t talk about you much, but he did tell me shit about his life before you. How he grew up, the times he went to jail for stealing, his younger brother dying. He went through a lot of shit.”
“He opened up to you.”
“A little. Told me some things about his past, but you and your mother were his sore spot. He kept the both of you to himself. Never even told me your names. He said his ex-wife left him because he was a thug and she wanted to do better. He didn’t hate her. In fact, he thought she did the right thing.”
“Is that why he never tried to get in contact with me?”
I nodded.
“I was so angry with the both of them for so long. My mother for not telling me about him and him for not trying harder to get to know me.”
I moved my gaze back to Syd as she turned and stared at the gravesite. She let out a sigh. “I don’t remember much about him except he’d always sit me on his lap to watch boxing. He was the one who encouraged my mom to put me into martial arts when I was so young. After she left him, she did everything to cut ties with him, including trying to make me forget about fighting. That picture on my desk is the only one I have of him and me together.”
My nostrils flared. The tremble in Syd’s voice as she speaks, pisses me off. I hated that she felt robbed of knowing her history. Moving behind her, I wrapped both my arms around her waist and pull her into me. She laid her head against my chest.
“She put me in piano lessons and ballet, but I rebelled. I snuck out of those sessions and went over to the local Judo school to continue practicing. I saved my weekly allowances to pay for the lessons.”
She paused, and turned in my embrace, lifting her head to look me in the eye.
“We fought about it and finally she said if I was going to insist on taking Judo, I’d have to pay for it myself. I guess she thought that would make me quit. But at thirteen, I started walking dogs in my neighborhood to earn money. That was how I continued to pay for lessons all the way up until my senior year.”
“You’ve always been a little entrepreneur, huh?”
She nodded, a sad smile crossing her face. “Maybe I get that from him.” She peered down at the headstone.
Considering the thought, I nodded. “Banks always said he hated working for someone else which was why he went into fighting and then training, saving money to open his own gym.”
I dropped my hands from her waist when she turned and took a step forward, crouching low in front of Banks’ headstone. There was a long pause before Syd’s shoulders began shaking. Small whimpers escaped her throat.
My body tightened with the stress of watching her breakdown. Moving closer, I crouched down next to her, pressing my palm to her back as her body continued to shake.
“I spent years wondering what he was like. Trying to figure out if I looked like him. All I had was that picture.” She sniffled and wiped away a few tears, but they kept coming. “It was the only thing my mom let me have of his. I was sixteen when I found this in her closet.”
She tucks her head, moving her hand to the silver boxing glove pendant around her neck.
“It belonged to him. When I asked her, my mother said he mailed it to her after she left. He wanted her to give it to me to remember him.”
Syd turned to stare at me with red eyes and a tear-soaked face. “Do you think he loved me? Did he miss me?” Her bottom lip trembled.
