I dropped onto the cushion next to him, cuddling into him immediately. Heath made a noise of surprise and wrapped his arms around me. “You okay, Major?” he asked, his rich voice settling my nerves.
“No,” I said, burying my face in his thick arm. Roly came up on the other side of me, holding me from behind and rubbing my chest.
“What happened?”
We were friendly, perhaps even friends, but there was no question what was supposed to be on the menu tonight. I was grateful that they saw what I needed and were willing to pivot. “Pretty sure I’m in love with my high school teacher’s widower.”
“Mr. Paige’s husband?” Roly asked.
“What was his name?” Heath asked. “Ren, right?”
I’d forgotten that I’d told them all about Mr. Paige and his wonderful husband, and it was heartwarming to know that they’d been paying attention.
I nodded. “We started sleeping together a couple of months ago, and he ended it recently when he saw that I had feelings.”
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.” Roly kissed my shoulder. “I don’t know if this helps at all, but if I lost Heath, I don’t… I can’t imagine falling in love with someone else. I bet he was so scared to know that you could feel that way for him.”
I nodded, hugging Heath’s arm. “I know he was. And I had no expectations. I went into it thinking it would just be like everyone else.”
“But it wasn’t,” Heath said, kissing my forehead.
“Not in the slightest.” I let out a sigh, embarrassed that my eyes were prickling with tears. “I’m sorry, guys. I don’t… I can’t… Tonight’s not gonna work for me.”
Heath shook his head. “Of course not. Obviously, if it would make you feel better, we’re more than willing. Even if sex isn’t on the table, though, we’re still here for you.”
I looked up, and his eyes held a warm understanding that I couldn’t begin to fathom.
“Why don’t we go to bed?” he suggested, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Not to fuck, but maybe for some affection. Would cuddling feel good?”
I swallowed thickly. “I think I’d like that very much.”
He smiled and took my hand, leading me to their bedroom. We’d always kept our activities to the living room, so I’d never been back here. Like the rest of the house, their bed was a mix of modernity and comfort. He had me lie down in the middle of the plush mattress, and he and Roly settled on either side, both holding me.
“Sorry that I couldn’t make tonight happen,” I said, feeling like I’d spent the last few months apologizing to everyone on my roster.
They held on a little tighter. “This is just as important,” Roly said, and I knew he meant it.
We lay there for a while, Heath big-spooning me as I snuggled into Roly. I hadn’t been getting much rest lately, and the comfort of being held by two sweet men was enough to help me fall asleep.
I woke the next morning a little embarrassed, but they were still so kind. Heath got up and made us breakfast, and we parted as friends—better friends than we’d been when I’d arrived the night before.
As I drove back to Seguin, I resolved to get over Ren, once and for all. I couldn’t live like this.
part two
SIX MONTHS LATER
CHAPTER 18
ren
It had been months since Major had been in my bed, and weeks since I’d last seen him. I avoided him where possible, though both seeing him and not seeing him gave me heartburn in equal measure.
When I did see him, my hands tingled with the desire to touch him, my body wanted to melt against his, and I missed his weight on top of me.
I’d downloaded Grindr a while back to see what the kids these days were doing but deleted it the second I received my first dick pic. Holy shit, I wasnotready.
Now that Sawyer and Hendrix were truly together, they were moving in to Sawyer’s newly built home and hosting a housewarming for all the Lost Boys. Unfortunately, I’d faked an illness for one too many of these events and had to go. Besides, this celebration was special. Per Robert’s instructions, I’d be giving Hendrix the wooden likeness of his mother that he’d carved in high school.
