Confident that he’s got it handled, I leave them up there to work it out together and go back to Jakob. No sooner than I’m at his side do I see Sully and Flynn making their way down the steps, wiping their eyes. Jakob squeezes my hand slightly, drawing my attention back to him. The utter exhaustion in his eyes almost brings me to my knees. He needs someone to call the shots and get him the fuck out of here. He’s hit his limit, and as much as I love his family, he’s my priority always.
“Can we go home?” He whispers.
“Yeah, Chaos. Let’s go.”
47
Chapter Forty- Seven
Jakob
I’ve read a lot of things about what happens when you lose someone. Loss is a part of life, and the media is so saturated with it. From the loss of a pet to the loss of the love of your life, and everything in between. With that comes a lot of cliches. I remember hearing somewhere that when you lose someone, your world turns black and white, but I don’t think that’s true.
In the two months since I’ve lost my baby sister, the colors of the world are still there; they’ve just shifted. Where the world was once filled with bright, vibrant colors while Anneliese was here. Bright pinks, yellows, blues, greens, and purples. Now they’re just dull and lifeless. The colors are still there, but they aren’t the same.
The only time I get a glimpse of the light is when Declan’swith me. He’s been my rock while I navigate through my grief. A few weeks after the service, he pulled the footage and then let us know that Anneliese died saving Elle. I’d like to say I’m surprised, but I’m not. Of course she’d jump in front of a bullet to save our sister’s sister. It’s such an Annie thing to do.
My family is trying to settle into a new sense of what life is now. I’m not going to call itnormal, because there is no normal anymore. My parents have put all their focus onto Hannah, and honestly I don’t blame them. Lee and Mac got married a couple of months ago. The wedding was beautiful, and the presence of Annie was felt throughout the entire day. Dieter and I both went back to work the week after the funeral, and we’ve really tried to settle.
“Chaos? Did you hear me?” My eyes snap over to Declan, who I guess has been talking to me.
“No, sorry. What was that?”
“I was just asking you what time we were leaving.” He presses his lips to my temple gently.
“Just whenever you’re ready is fine.” A small smile tugs at my lips.
If I’ve learned anything over the past couple of months, it’s that life can be gone at any moment, and I don’t want to continue to wait to make this man my husband. We planned a date together, and little does he know, by tonight he’ll be my fiance. I need to marry him as desperately as I need my next breath. It’s him. It always has been and always will be.
We’re going into Brooklyn for dinner and a walk down in Brooklyn Bridge Park, which is where I’ll pop the question. Afterwards, we’ll head up to our favorite rooftop bar, where our friends and family will be waiting for us. My friends have become Declan’s friends too. Now, ironically enough, he andMiles are the closest aside from his relationship with Dieter and obviously, myself.
We drive into Brooklyn in comfortable silence. Declan said he has something to talk to me about later tonight. He better not be trying to break up with me, because I’m going to fucking glue this ring to his finger before I let that happen. He had a meeting with all of his brothers earlier today, so I think it’s safe to assume it’s some work thing. Hopefully he’s not having to travel for whatever it is. I can’t just leave my job to go with him. I mean, I’ll make it happen. It’ll just be a little difficult.
We’re pulling into the parking garage when he squeezes my hand three times, always three. He turns to me with a strange look in his eye. He looks good tonight. Don’t get me wrong, he always looks good, but tonight he’s in maroon slacks, a solid black button down and a maroon suit jacket with black lapels. His hair is neat, his beard neatly trimmed, and those green eyes that captivate me no matter where we are. He’s fucking striking.
“I love you, Chaos.” His lips tick up on one side.
“I love you too, Beast. Now come on before we’re late.” We both get out of the vehicle and meet at the front of the SUV. He reaches over and grabs my hand.
“Oh, yeah? You love me so much that you decided to dress like me tonight?” He raises his eyebrow and cuts his eyes to me.
“Shut the hell up. I didn’t dress like you.”
Looking down at my outfit, I stifle a laugh because we are dressed similarly. Only where he’s wearing maroon, I’m wearing royal blue. I try to jerk my hand out of his, but hejust chuckles and holds on tighter.
“It’s okay, baby boy. I like it.” His voice becomes rough and my dick twitches in my slacks.
“Save it for tonight. I want to have this date without being defiled beforehand. If it’s all the same to you.” I grumble while leading us inside.
Declan doesn’t respond until we’re seated and the waiter has taken our orders. I think he’s not going to until he surprises me and runs the tip of his shoe up my leg slowly, “I’ll play by your rules for now, but I’m fucking you until you pass out when we get home.”
* * *
Our dinner was amazing, and now we’re strolling hand in hand down the Brooklyn Bridge. I’ve never been here, which could be taken as a crime in and of itself, seeing as I’ve lived in Corey Heights my entire life. Declan told me earlier he’d never been either. The bridge is empty with the exception of the two of us. I’m sure Dec thinks that it’s a happy coincidence, but really I had Lee call and block it off for the evening so we wouldn’t be interrupted.
The solid white gold ring has been burning a hole in my pocket all evening. Every time he’s tried to walk or get anywhere near my right side, I’ve internally panicked thinking he can see or feel the small velvet box through my suit jacket.
“This is a killer view.” Declan smiles as we walk across the bridge leading from Manhattan to Brooklyn.
