“But I’ve had a hard day. You’re going to kick me to the other side of the bed after the day I had?” He makes the most pitiful face, which would typically have me folding.
“Yes, I actually am. You’re going to move over because it’s my night to keep you safe.” I tell him sternly.
“You’re such an asshole.” He grumbles as he scoots over to the other side so I can climb into my rightful spot for the night.
We started fighting about who got to sleep by the door when he first started coming over to sleep when I got off work. We both have been trained from a young age to always sleep closest to the door just in case something happens. It started with Declan arguing that he was better trained for the door but quickly became an agreement that we’d share since I seriously can’t sleep if I’m not closest to the door. Now we trade off nights, and we don’t argue about it anymore. Clearly he thought he could get one over on me tonight. Too bad for him, I’m not missing a night of sleep.
It’s also a rule that whoever gets the door also gets to be the big spoon. He won’t admit it because he’s as stubborn as they come, but he needs to be held after what he’s told us. I get comfortable and reach my hand over to grasp his. He’s fidgeting as anxiety radiates from him.
“Okay, so you just told me and your entire family something incredibly personal that you’ve been keeping a secret for a long time.”
“Yeah. I can’t do it anymore, Jake. I can’t fight for her. I can’t get knocked out by some guy that I’d crush with my pinky anymore. Most importantly, I can’t wake up to that again. I just want to stay on my –or neutral– territory, do my job, and love my family. I want to help people when I’m able to and come home every night to hang out with my best friend. Admittedly, my best friend that I fuck, but you know what I mean.”
“Wow, you’re so poetic, Declan.” Sarcasm drips from my words, causing him to laugh.
“I’m serious. I don’t want to do that shit anymore, and I can’t stop if no one knows what’s at stake if I do.”
“I’m so fucking sorry that you’ve carried this on your shoulder for so long. I should have questioned you about it sooner. I realized something was up a few years ago.” My head hangs between my shoulders.
“No, you don’t do that. I wouldn’t have told you anything because I wasn’t ready. You wouldn’t have gotten it out of me a second sooner than tonight. It had to be my decision.” His thumb lightly grazes the back of my hand. “Do you have any questions for me?” I catch him peeking over at me from my peripheral vision.
“Does it bother you when we touch? I see you, you know? When you stiffen or slowly remove yourself from other people’s grasps. Even when you startle if you don’t see it coming. Should I ask before I grab your hand or anything? I used to have to do that with Lelonie when she first came to live with us. It’s not a big deal if it would make you morecomfortable.”
His head is shaking before I even finish, “No, it doesn’t bother me. Don’t ask me the psychology behind that because I have no idea why, but your touch doesn’t pull that reaction out of me. It makes me feel less alone. Your touch makes me feel like when you walk through the door after the longest day. You know, that moment when all the tension just leaves your body as you crash on the couch with the game you’ve waited all day to watch and your favorite takeout on the way? It’s like that. It’s like when you’re out in the heat for just a little too long and then the wind whips around you. Or when you’re watching the sun set and the sky just turned that pinkish purplish color. It’s like the exact moment the endorphins hit you while you’re working out. Or the moment little hands wrap around your neck because they think you’re the best Uncle to ever touch this Earth. I don’t know why it doesn’t scare me, Chaos. But if I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably because I’m hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you.”
Tears are streaming down my face as his glistening emerald orbs lock onto my ice blue ones.
“You asshole, I wanted to say it first, but how do I even top that?” A watery laugh bursts out of me as I wipe my eyes.
“Just tell me you love me back.” He smiles.
“I love you, Declan. I love you so much that everything but you ceases to exist when we’re together. I love you so much that it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room when you grin at me. So much that I feel like an idiot, because I find myself wanting to call you every five minutes just to hear your voice. Beast, I love you so much that when you were hurt, it physically felt like I was dying. My chest tightened to the point that I could barely breathe because the thoughtof living in a world without you in it is unfathomable. Even when we wasted all those years. As long as I knew you were out here living, I was okay. I can handle a lot of shit, baby. But living in a world that you aren’t in? Well, that’s something I have no desire to do. I love you, Declan James Byrne.”
I don’t know who moves first, but in the next moment we’re a tangle of lips, limbs, and bodies. I nip his bottom lip, his hand skates down my chest, and my body moves over top of his. Things happen so quickly that I’m positive that we’re just moving on instinct.
My lips find his ear as I kiss the shell of it before whispering, “Tell me to stop.”
“That word isn’t even in my vocabulary right now.” He groans and his hand cups my cock from the outside of my boxers. He slowly moves his hand up and down my length with just the thin fabric separating our flesh.
Fuck, that feels good.
Declan pushes my shoulders until I’m on my back and he’s hovering over top of me. His lips meet my collarbone before nibbling and kissing across to the other side and down my chest and stomach. I swear I’m harder than iron right now, and as his lips kiss across the top of the waistband of my boxers, my dick weeps with anticipation.
My hands grab his hair gently as I pull his head back just enough until our gazes crash. A look of annoyance prominent on his features.
“You don’t have to do this, we can stop and it’s no big deal.”
He’s been through a lot mentally tonight, and we haven’t done anything since his attack. In true Declan form, he lifts an infuriating eyebrow at me and pulls my boxers off with really no effort at all, because I may or may not have lifted myhips to help.
“How’s this for an answer?” He smirks before leaning down and kissing the tip of my cock. My head tilts back on a low moan. Before I can recover, I can feel his tongue licking up the underside of my length.
Yeah, I’m done for.
My fingers tangle in the medium length locks on the top of his head as his mouth encases me and my hips shoot up. I feel my tip touch his tonsils and pull back slightly. Declan’s hands grip my hips as he sets a rhythm maddening enough to have heat pooling at the base of my spine and my balls drawing up. Using my grip on his hair, I guide his movements, or at least he lets me think I am until he presses my cock so deep that I feel his throat constricting around it.
“Fuck, Declan stop. You’re going to make me come.” I rush out on the end of a groan.
Declan, however, is as stubborn as they come, so he just doubles his efforts. The next time I feel the tight squeeze of his throat swallowing me down along with the vibration from his low moan, I can’t help it. I lean my head back and moan loudly as my release coats his throat. He just hums as he swallows every single fucking drop I give him. Once he finishes licking me clean, he slowly kisses back up my now pliant body. His lips meet mine in a bruising kiss as his tongue plays with mine. Tasting myself on him is euphoric in and of itself. Add in his tongue coming out to play, and I can already feel my dick twitch in interest.
