‘All I’d ever wanted was to leave town. Leave Dad. Save Mom. Start afresh. And then we started hanging out. And suddenly, it was less about what I wanted and more about what everyone else needed from me. They needed me more than you did. That’s what it came down to, I guess.’
His words cut through something inside of her, but she still didn’t really buy it. They could have done the whole long-distance thing. He hadn’t needed to just walk away from her, wholesale. He’d donethatbecause he’d wanted to start a new life. Without her in it.
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Stop saying that.’ A tinge of anger coloured his voice, and he immediately withdrew, his face a blank slate, his chest still as if holding his breath, and then he moved, expelling it long and slow.
‘They didn’t need you more than I did,’ she said, glad that her own tone showed impatience. ‘You only justified it that way.’
‘I didn’t know any of that stuff, Sienna. About the baby, about your dad.’
‘Nor did I, when you left. That all came later. I just mean… I needed you, regardless of that. Or I thought I did.’ She jutted her chin out defiantly. ‘Ilovedyou, Aiden. Not like some stupid high school crush. Ilovedyou. Every part of me loved every part of you, and if you’d let me, I would have stood by your side while you chased down your dreams, being your biggest cheerleader, your biggest supporter, forever and always.’ She blinked quickly to clear the hot sting of tears. ‘Just like we promised each other.’
The silence between them was flooded with static electricity. It sparked in the air between them, buzzing around the room.
‘Anyway.’ She couldn’t bear it. She couldn’t bear being this close to him, touching him, with the aching wound in her heart wide open and exposed, raw and making her vulnerable in a way she’d fought not to be ever since that night. ‘It’s done.’ She went to lift the sheet and push out of bed but his hand, on her hip, moved quickly, grabbing her wrist and stilling her.
‘I’m sorry.’ His thumb padded her inner-wrist and sparks shot towards her shoulder then pirouetted inside her body. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing.’
He lifted both their hands, holding them between their chests, still stroking her sensitive skin.
‘A part of me thought… if you were in my life, I wouldn’t be hungry any more.’
Her brow furrowed. ‘What does that even mean?’
‘Don’t you get it?’ His voice was gruff. ‘You became my whole world, Sienna. I didn’t give a shit about hockey once we hooked up.’
She made a scoffing noise. ‘That’s not how I remember it.’
‘I still played, but my heart wasn’t in it. My heart… my heart was with you.’
She ground her teeth together, needing the physical act to stop herself from saying something stupid, or from gushing over him.
‘That scholarship was my ticket out of town. My mom and Blake’s, too.’
‘Blake could have gone without you.’
‘We were a package deal. Everything was locked in – and it revolved around the both of us.’ He expelled a harsh breath. ‘Maybe if I’d quit, it all still would have worked out for them. I don’t know. I wasn’t willing to risk it.’
For the first time, his words made a strange kind of sense, but there was no relief in that. If anything, she felt a weird hollowing out. An emptiness. Because it was all so futile.
‘It’s fine. I get it,’ she said, and in her heart, she did. ‘But the thing is, even understanding why you did what you did, I can’t… I just can’t forgive you for it. The thing is, Aiden, you got wings. You flew away. And I just… I got stuck.’
14
If you’d asked him a month ago what his idea of perfect R&R was, it would have gone a hell of a lot like this. A private beach. Close friends and family. A bonfire right on sunset. Beers. An epic barbecue feast being cooked up by island staff just a dozen or so feet away, filling the air with amazing smells that should have been making his stomach grumble. This should have seemed like bliss. Instead, Aiden felt like he’d been totally scooped out.
That was Sienna’s doing.
You grew wings. I got stuck.
Her words had tortured him, all day.
Not just her words, but the way she’d issued them with a perfunctory, polite smile, before pulling her wrist free and stepping out of the bed, her beautiful, slim body backlit by the soft morning light, her long hair loose and tousled.
He’d wanted to go after her. To pull her back against his body and kiss her. Like he had on the beach, butnotlike he had on the beach. Even a few short days had made such a difference. Everything was different.
So he’d just lain there and watched as she’d gathered up some clothes and made her way into the en-suite bathroom. The sound of the shower running gave him a choice. Stay, or go.
