He chose the latter.
Not because he was a coward, but because it was her room, and she’d made it clear the conversation was closed. Dismissed. Thank you, counsellor, he thought, as he got out of bed and moved to the door then back to his own room.
He watched as Sienna said something that made the other three women laugh. Aiden knew Astrid and Blake were happy. Likestupidhappy. The kind of happy he could never have even halfway hoped for for his twin brother, when things were at their worst. But as he looked at the four of them, he couldn’t help but wonder ifthatwas the real love story. The way these women looked at each other, talked, laughed, supported, it made his heart explode in a weird way, to know Sienna had chicks like this in her life. Things might have gone to hell for her in lots of ways, but these women saw her for who she was. They got the value of her. And they got to be in her life.
Unlike him.
Something stitched in his chest as he faced the reality of that for the first time.
He’d got used to seeing her again. He liked seeing her. But no matter what happened, after the wedding, he’d go back to his life. That was non-negotiable. The contract was being inked, and he was nowhere near ready to quit his game, yet.
Even for Sienna?
It was like an arrow, spearing into his side, and it forced him to glance towards a road not taken, all those years ago.
Out of nowhere, he imagined moving back to Ashbury Falls. Not to her house, but buying that big, run-down old mansion they’d both always loved, fixing it up together, making ittheirhome, just like they’d talked about doing back then.
He could afford to never hit another puck again.
He could afford to do whatever the hell he wanted. His heart jammed against his ribs. He could afford tobewherever he wanted.
A decade ago, he’d left their town behind because he’d been shit out of options: for himself, Blake, and their mom. But Blake didn’t need him now. He had his life on track, and he had Astrid for good measure. He was a whole different guy to the kid who’d been about three steps from going hard off the rails, without Aiden to keep him on the straight and narrow. And their mom? Same deal. Cynthia Carter had friends, and the kind of self-confidence that settled in under your skin and didn’t let up.
His heart began to thunder.
But could he really walk away from the game, when he was at the height of it? Leave his team?
Blake might not need him any more, but the team did. The younger players looked up to him. The coach relied on him. How could he turn his back on them?
And would Sienna even want him to?
His eyes landed on her and stayed there, so he saw the moment Chuck Daly walked up to the group carrying a bottle of champagne, earning a rousing cheer from the women that had a fair few heads turning their way.
Astrid, clutching a mug of tea, shook her head when Chuck went to walk off, gesturing to a spare patch of sand. Beside Sienna.
And Aiden’s not-so-little inner green monster harumphed as the tech billionaire settled down good and close to the woman who’d been single-handedly torturing Aiden’s thoughts – waking and sleeping – for longer than he cared to remember.
She smiled at Chuck; Chuck smiled back. It was like another blade, slicing through his side.
Would Sienna want him to move home? To be in her life again?
Or would she rather start fresh with someone else, like Chuck?
She’d obviously been seeing guys in the ten plus years since they’d been a thing, so why hadn’t she got married? His heart skipped. Why hadn’t she had kids of her own? Because she’d been too cut up, after what had happened to their baby?
He took a long drag of his beer, trying not to think about what that must have been like for her. How devastating. How heart breaking.
How she must havehatedhim for not being there. For not answering her damned calls. For ignoring her, when she was reaching out because she hadneededhim to hold her and make everything better. Or at least to stop it from hurting so much.
He’d failed her.
What right did he have to even contemplate trying to get back in her life? Because wasn’t that the crux of his fears, when it came to Sienna? Not that he’d lose his focus on the game, like he’d told her. But that he’d hurt her, one day, like his father had hurt his mother. That he had those same genes, those same emotions, that same volatility bubbling beneath the surface. He might have learned to control it from a young age by being the exact opposite of his father – by answering emotion with ice, by being cold and calculated instead of driven by feeling – but that didn’t change the fact those feelings were there.
Just like they were now, as he watched Chuck tuck Sienna’s hair behind her ear, earning a shy sideways smile from her, that made one of his hands threaten to form a fist, so he buried it deep in the sand instead and forced himself to look away. To stare deep into the flickering flames while his pulse calmed down and he got a grip, once more.
He had hurt her.
Just like he’d sworn he never would.
