‘Figgy pudding?’ Ceecee said, wrinkling her nose. ‘It looks like something a cat would puke up.’
Both twins had sourer faces than usual. I sincerely hoped it was down to whatever Callum had done. Toots shot Ceecee a sharp look. ‘Mind your tongue, young lady. This is a traditional Christmas dish.’
‘It smells… interesting,’ Martha offered, trying to be polite.
Clem fidgeted, her cheeks growing even redder. ‘Ifollowed the recipe exactly. I hope it tastes all right. Will you try some?’
‘Oh, for Pete’s sake,’ Toots said, snatching up the bowl as Clem handed her a spoon. With a shaking veiny hand, she tentatively dipped it into the thick, dark mixture. We all watched in anticipation as she raised it to her mouth and tentatively took a mouthful. Her eyes widened slightly, and she swallowed slowly, her expression unreadable.
‘Well?’ Fergus prompted, swaying dangerously close to the fireplace. ‘How is it, Mummy dearest?’
Toots swallowed hard. ‘It’s certainly… memorable. What did you put in it?’
Clem’s face fell at the lack of praise. ‘Just… just what was in the recipe. Dried plums, breadcrumbs, almonds, spices?—’
‘And a dash of brandy!’ Fergus chimed in, raising his glass and shaking it. ‘For added flavour!’
‘I’d say it was more than a dash,’ Toots said, pushing the bowl away. ‘It tastes like you dumped the whole bottle in.’
‘Fergus!’ Clem hissed. ‘You didn’t put brandy in there, did you? I spent all day on that!’
Toots looked at Fergus and Clementine and pressed her lips into a line. Gingerly, she picked up the spoon and ate another mouthful. ‘It’s really not too bad, once you get used to it. Thank you, dear, it’s very thoughtful of you. Anyone else want to try?’
We each shook our heads and saidnoin unison.
Beebee crossed her arms and loudly whispered to Ceecee, ‘Looks and smells like cat shit.’
‘Now, now,’ Toots chided, forcing down another spoonful. ‘It’s the thought that counts. And it’s… growing on me.’
Fergus stumbled forward, nearly knocking over the Christmas tree.
Jeannie was surveying him with no attempt to hide her disgust. ‘I think you’ve had quite enough, Fergus,’ she said through gritted teeth. ‘Why don’t you sit down before you hurt yourself?’
Martha stepped in, strong-arming Fergus to an armchair. ‘Here, Uncle Fergus. Sit in my chair. We wouldn’t want you falling flat on your face,’ she said sarcastically.
Clem wrung her hands, looking close to tears. ‘Toots, the thing is, I’ve been wanting to talk to you…’
‘I knew you were up to something,’ Jeannie said in a warning tone.
‘Oh, will you just shut up, Jeannie!’ Aunt Clem snapped. ‘The thing is, Toots,’ she continued, voice shaking. ‘We have found ourselves very unstuck. We– we need some money.’
Toots straightened, putting her hand to her chest. ‘Money?’ she said, grimacing. ‘What do you mean? How much money?’
Clem looked to Fergus, whose cheek was bunched up as he rested his head on his fist. ‘Enough to… to stop our cottage being repossessed.’
Toots stared. ‘What on earth are you asking me for? I don’t have any money.’
‘Of course you do, Mummy-Wummy…’ Fergus slurred.
Toots inhaled sharply. She looked up at us, then coughed, hitting herself on the chest as if trying to dislodge something.
‘I don’t,’ she insisted, rasping a little, a pained expression lining her face. ‘Are you deaf as well as stupid? You were at the will-reading with the rest of us, weren’t you?’ She was breathless, wheezing as if she was at the beginning of an asthma attack. I wondered whether I should jump in, but I was too captured by the turn of conversation.
‘Yes, but—’ Clem stalled, then, ‘Y-you have assets, don’t you? And jewellery? I hate to ask, and you know I wouldn’t unless it was really dire straits! And, and she—’ She was dithering now, gesturing towards Jeannie. ‘She won’t give us a penny! We are going to lose everything! And now Tristan’s gone, and do you know that Mimi’—her eyes narrowed into slits, looking between us and the twins—‘she’s not even been a faithful wife! She doesn’t deserve a damn dime!’
Jeannie gasped, one hand flying to her pearls. The girls’ mouths dropped open. Toots just sat there motionless. Just staring and staring at Clem, mouth wide.
‘Now look what you’ve done, you’re upsetting her. I told you not to say anything!’ admonished Jeannie.
