I glanced at her. ‘What for?’
‘Not believing you.’
‘I don’t blame you.’
She shook her head. ‘It was wrong of me to dismiss you like that. It’s just… you know I worry about you, don’t you? Since Greg.’
‘I do.’
‘I just wanted to be sure that this wasn’t all some elaborate trick your mind was playing on you.’
‘So are you saying that you believe me now?’
I stared down at our feet, which were walking in perfect unison. Suddenly, Rachel’s stopped moving. When I looked back at her she was just standing there, staring at the bandstand. She met my eye. ‘I don’t know, Ems. But I reallywantto believe you.’
I nodded.
‘Come on then,’ I said. ‘Let me show you.’
It was slightly warmer today and the park was busier, kids kicking balls around, couples soaking up the last of the sun’s rays, sharing picnics and throwing frisbees and laughing. I kept my eyes fixed on the bandstand and wondered whether Nick would be there, and if he was what he could see. What was the weather like for him? Was he nervous?
I stopped just before we stepped up onto the platform. There was someone else there, a man, sitting on the bench on his phone.
‘Is that him?’ Rachel whispered.
I shook my head and turned to face her. ‘I’m not sure what to do.’
There had never been anyone else here before. If I went and sat down now, would the time slip not work? Or would this person just see me sitting there talking to myself? Couldtheysee Nick? There were so many questions I couldn’t answer about how this worked.
‘Let’s wait until he’s gone.’
We walked away, heading back along the same path. We took a couple of loops round, checking on each circuit whether thebandstand was empty. As time ticked by, anxiety knotted in my belly. What if Nick thought I wasn’t coming and left? Would he ever come back or would he give up on me?
Eventually, after a torturous fifteen minutes, the guy on his phone left. I took hold of Rachel’s hand. ‘Come on,’ I said, pulling her urgently. We stepped onto the bandstand and stopped. There was no one here.
I spun round a couple of times, but there was no sign of Nick, or anyone else.
‘Oh,’ I said, slumping onto the bench.
Rachel sat beside me and took my hand gently without saying a word. I knew she was just trying to be kind and not sayI told you so, but I wanted to make her understand.
‘I promise you he was here, before,’ I said. ‘He was sitting just there, where you are, and we just talked, as normal.’ I wiped my eye. ‘I’m not making this up, Rach. He’s not a ghost. I know he’s not.’
She smiled at me and stroked her thumb across my hand. ‘The mind does weird things sometimes, especially when it’s suffering. It’s not unusual.’
‘I…’ I stopped. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that Nick was real, that we’d had this real connection. But I could see why she didn’t believe me, and there were no words to properly explain how I’d felt when Nick and I had been together.
And besides, what if she was right? What if this really was all a figment of my imagination, and Nick had never really existed?
I stood, my legs shaking. ‘Can we get out of here?’
‘Of course we can,’ she said. She held my hand as we stepped off the bandstand and onto the grass, and kept hold of it as we walked back along the path in silence. But as we passed a tree, it struck me.
‘I can prove it!’ I said, stopping in my tracks.
‘What?’ She looked at me, confused.
‘Come with me,’ I said, dragging her towards the tree. We stopped just in front of it, and I pointed at a spot on the bark about two feet above our heads. She squinted up, then looked at me.
