‘What’s this?’ she said.
‘You can see it?’ My heart thumped with excitement.
‘Those letters? Of course.’
I gasped. ‘Nick wrote them, yesterday.’ I pointed at them. ‘Look, it’s our initials and the date.’
She peered more closely at the carved initials and traced her finger over them. I held my breath as I waited for her to realise I was telling her the truth. But instead she turned to me with pity in her eyes and said: ‘Are you sure you didn’t just see these on here and think they were a sign?’
‘No of course not,’ I said. ‘Nick carved these while I was sitting over there. I swear.’
She looked back at the letters. I could feel frustration curdling at the base of my belly.
‘I don’t know,’ she said.
‘What do you mean you don’t know?’ I said, trying to tamp down a dart of fury.
‘I just mean…’ She stopped. ‘Listen, I know you really want to believe this, but I worry about you. I mean, this…’ She waved her hand towards the tree trunk. ‘This could have been written at any time. It could have been written today.’
I stared at her but she wouldn’t meet my eye.
‘You think I’m making this up,’ I said. It was a statement, not a question.
‘I just…’ She shuffled her feet, then finally met my eye. ‘Listen, Em, I want to believe you. I really do. But you know how this sounds, don’t you? I mean, you must do. And with everything that’s happened, no one would blame you for wanting it to be true.’
I felt tears prick my eyes and I swiped my hand across my cheek.
‘This isn’t grief, Rachel,’ I said. ‘I promise you, this really happened. This is real. I… I don’t know how else to prove it to you.’
I watched as a look I couldn’t read flitted across her face.
‘Let’s go back,’ I said, suddenly, grabbing her hand and pulling her behind me.
‘Back where?’
‘To the bandstand,’ I said, urgently. ‘I’ll prove to you this is real.’
I could feel her reluctance, but she let me drag her along anyway. And when we arrived back at the rose garden, we both stopped.
‘What now?’ Rachel said, rubbing her wrist. The skin was red and I felt guilty.
‘Nick and I were here, in the bandstand together, when he went to etch that in the tree,’ I said, my words tumbling out over one another in their urgency. ‘But when he stepped off here into the park, I couldn’t see him any more until he got back inside the confines of the bandstand. So what if it’s only when the two of us are alone together in there that we can see each other?’
‘Right…?’ Rachel said, her mouth twisting into a question.
I ploughed on. ‘What if he’s in there right now?’
‘Well I mean…’ Rachel stuttered.
‘In a minute I’m going to go inside and look. And if he’s there, I’m going to ask him to do something, just for you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m going to get Nick to prove this to you in the same way he proved it to me.’
‘Emma, I really don’t need you to do this. Please, let’s just go.’
I shook my head. ‘No, Rach. I need you to believe me and this is the only thing I can think of to show you once and for all. Please? For me?’
