‘That’s better, we can actually hear ourselves think,’ Rachel said as she slid the door to the living room closed and the racket from the rest of the house melted away. ‘Now, sit down and tell me what’s going on with you.’
A sense of dread thumped in my belly, but I did as I was told and perched on one end of the sofa. Rachel settled on the other end and tucked her legs beneath her.
I hadn’t wanted to talk about what had happened with me and Nick. I’d planned to tell her that everything was fine, that Nick and I had got on and that we’d arranged to see each other again. No need to mention the small issue of us being twenty years apart. But one look at Rachel’s face and I knew I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I needed to talk about it.
‘I met Nick again.’
‘Yes, I know that.’ She waited and I squirmed in my seat. Finding the words for this was harder than I’d imagined.
‘We got on really well,’ I continued slowly. ‘We talked a lot, about Greg, and about his wife.’ I stared at the rug in front of me, at the small red stain across the corner where one of the boys had spilt a Fruit Shoot. A stray piece of Lego was nestled against the leg of the coffee table. I turned to look at Rachel who was giving me a look I couldn’t read. ‘We found something out. Something… unusual.’
A frown creased her forehead and she folded her arms. ‘Is he ill or something? Because I’m not sure you should?—’
‘It’s not that,’ I said, cutting her off. I rubbed my hand over my face and took a deep breath. ‘He lives in 1999.’
She stared at me, a pink blush creeping up her cheeks. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
I sat back against the sofa, tipping my head against the wall behind me and staring at the ceiling. Then I told her everything that Nick and I had found out today. I didn’t dare look at her as I spoke, scared of seeing any judgement in her face, and when I finished I waited for her to say something.
She didn’t speak for a long time but when she finally did it wasn’t unexpected. ‘Are you feeling okay?’
I lifted my head and looked at her. ‘I know it sounds completely mad,’ I said. ‘I know it does and I don’t blame you for not believing me. But there’s literally no other way to explain what happened today.’
She pressed her hand against my arm, and I looked down at it, remembering the jolt every time Nick and I had touched. It was as though some sort of chemical reaction was occurring, something that connected us through the years, the decades. I didn’t have enough knowledge of science or anything else to understand it. All I could be certain of was that it was true.
‘Do you want me to arrange for some more grief counselling?’
‘No!’ I said, pulling my arm away. ‘This isn’t about Greg, or about grief, or anything like that. Thishappened.’
‘I know why you might want to believe that, but it’s impossible, Ems. You know that, right?’ She shuffled towards me and tucked her finger under my chin, turning my head so we were looking right at each other. ‘I’m worried about you.’
‘You don’t need to be.’ I felt a pressure building behind my eyes and I knew I was on the verge of tears. I so desperately wanted her to believe me, and yet I didn’t blame her for thinkingthis was my mind playing tricks on me. Because I’d be exactly the same if the situation were reversed. An idea occurred to me then.
‘Come with me.’
‘What?’
‘Tomorrow. Come with me when I meet Nick and I’ll show you.’
She paused for a moment, clearly torn between agreeing and telling me I needed help.
‘Please,’ I said.
‘Okay.’ She sighed heavily. ‘For you.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And now,’ she said, hauling herself up to standing, ‘I think you really need to eat.’
The following evening I arrived at the park gates a few minutes early, pacing up and down as I waited for Rachel. I had no idea whether this was going to work – there were so many things that could go wrong – but it was the only thing I could think of to try.
‘Hey.’ I jumped at Rachel’s voice. I must have looked scared because when I spun round she held her hands up in surrender. ‘It’s only me,’ she said.
‘Sorry.’ I smiled, a weak attempt at trying to relax.
We set off into the park, falling into step.
‘I need to apologise to you,’ she said.
