When the train finally pulled in, she stepped forward with her bag, and all I could do was follow a pace behind, hands useless at my sides. She turned just before stepping on board, cheeks pink from the cold, hair whipping around her shoulders. I couldn’t let her leave without a last kiss.
I stepped forward, grasping her to me and pressing my mouth to hers, tasting her sweet, minty breath on my tongue. Tugging her hair gently, I encouraged her to open up for me. She wavered in my arms, her breath coming in short pants as I poured everything into that one kiss. All my desire. All my awe for her. All my wants for the future.
She gave as good as I did, until people bustled past us, forcing me to let her go.
‘Thanks for everything, Henry,’ she said. And before I could ask whateverythingmeant, she stepped onto the train. It took everything not to follow her.
‘I’ll see you,’ she said. No soon. No promise.
‘I’ll see yousoon,’ I added, letting her know I’d be a little more dogged than she.
And then she was gone inside the carriage, finding a seat by the window. I stood on the platform like an idiot, waiting for her to look at me. She didn’t.
The train hadn’t even begun rolling when my phone buzzed.
I glanced down, expecting it to be the Leadbetters or one of my family.
Instead, it was Amanda.
Thank you for showing me how good it can be to let go in safe hands.
Another ping.
Thanks for being those safe hands, Henry.
Heat wrapped my chest, squeezing the air from me as her train departed the station.
I replied.
Hope “safe” isn’t the only way you’ll remember my hands, Princess.
I stared at the screen, the icy wind cutting around me. And I waited for her reply. And waited.
The manor was too quiet when I returned from the station, nothing but echoes of Amanda everywhere I looked. I made acoffee out of habit more than desire, hands half-numb from the platform.
I took the mug outside, frost crunching beneath my boots as I headed for the stables. Merv poked his head out before I reached the door, ears pitched forward and nose snuffling for treats.
‘Alright, mate,’ I said, pressing him backwards and stepping inside.
He shuffled into me as I sat on an upturned bucket, trying to stop Merv from knocking my coffee out of my hand.
‘Alright, alright. Calm down,’ I said, abandoning my coffee and rubbing between his ears. His fur was warm under my palms, comforting in a way that only animals can bring with their lack of judgment.
I leaned against his side, letting my forehead rest briefly against his rising and lowering coat.
‘I think she’s the one,’ I told him. The words escaped before I could second-guess them. ‘I know it sounds mad. Too soon. Too rash. I really do.’
Merv snorted and kicked over my coffee.
‘Yeah.’ I stared into the middle distance. ‘Trouble is… how do I make her see it? How do I make her see that it’s not fake just because it’s fast?’
I glanced down at my phone, pulling her messages up on my screen. ‘It’s not over until it 's over, right buddy?’
‘Open-ended my arse.’
Outside, the wind whistled through the yard. Merv let out a low bray.
And for the first time since she’d stepped on that train, I stopped wallowing and decided to concoct a plan.
