I groaned and fell back on my bed, wet hair sticking to my neck and shoulders. “I need to find someone else to like. Why does he have to be so, I don’t know, perfect?”
“I’m sorry, Kitty. Life sucks sometimes.”
“It really does.”
Chapter 4
Guy
I woke up screaming. I’d been doing that a lot that summer. I went through a phase of it after one of Papa’s particularly bad anger fits, but for some reason, the screams and bad dreams were back.
I knew the only way out of it was to get up and do something else. Laying in bed just made me replay the dreams on a loop. I decided to take advantage of the ocean-front property and go sit on the beach.
I sat, staring out at the whitecaps visible in the moonlight. I’d been out there maybe 20 minutes when I heard someone approaching. I looked just in time to see Kitty turning back to the house, a blanket in her arms and a single braid in her hair. She had on sporty shorts and a sweatshirt, looking all cozy.
“Hey! Where are you going?”
Kitty froze. “I-I didn’t want to bother you,” she stammered.
“You never bother me. Come sit.”
I helped her spread out the blanket on the cold sand and sat on it with her. “Can’t sleep?”
I gave her a wry smile. “Nightmare. You?”
“Something like that.” She stared out at the water, chewing her lip.
We didn’t say anything else for a while, sitting in companionablesilence and watching the waves. Crash, roll, fizz. Crash, roll, fizz. The wind picked up a little and Kitty shivered. I turned to her, the moon lighting her delicate features. I studied the cupid’s bow of her lips and the way her nose turned up ever-so-slightly at the end.
“Scooch up,” I said. Kitty did, shifting to the middle of the blanket and hugging her knees to her chest. I moved with her and wrapped the blanket around our shoulders. I left my arm around Kitty. It felt so nice to hold her like that. It was how I wanted things to be, but they couldn’t. Our families were basically one. Kitty even spent hours on the porch chatting with Maman on her nights off, sipping iced tea and bonding in that way that women do.
Kitty didn’t turn her face toward me, but she didn’t shake off my arm either. She was mad about something.
“What’s bothering you? You’ve been grumpy all day,” I prodded.
“Nothing.”
I wiggled my arm against her. “Come on,ma puce. You’re angry.”
Kitty was silent for a while, but knowing her like I did, I knew she was just gearing up to talk. When she did, I almost couldn’t hear her.
“I didn’t know you liked Annie.”
I sucked in a breath and held it. “I don’t like Annie.”
She pursed her lips like she didn’t believe me as she looked over at me.
“You know it’s you, Kitty.”
She was silent, avoiding my gaze. A ragged breath came from her. “Then why did you leave me out to dry all year? Why didn’t you date me? Why did you let everyone think I’m some kind of slut when it was you who kissed me?”
Guilt, shame, and a wave of nausea washed over me. I’d heard some people talk about Kitty here and there, but I didn’t know if those rumors came from me or from somewhere else.
“Kitty, I can’t give you what you need.”
She scoffed. “Bullshit. Just because our families are close? Your mom would be thrilled if we dated. My parents love you. Frank would get over it.”
“No, it’s not just that. I’m not who you think I am.”
