41
Blur
Summer Walker’s “Toxic” hums in my ear. My body dips into another squat
—tight pink flare lounge set hugging my curves, low sleek ponytail, New Balances planted firm in the ground. The irony of the song? Heavy. Four nights. Four nights of sleeping alone. And somehow, I still see Nickoi every single day. But it’s never really forus. He comes by to check the babies while I’m gone, disappears before the sun does. Complicated isn’t even the word. He’s distant. Cold. I already owned my part, told him everything. Still, he won’t talk. Won’t even look at me the way he used to.
Is this payback? I bend low again, mind spiraling. If I had a time machine… I swear, I’d fix it all. A shadow crosses my vision. I look up. My trainer’s lips are moving. I yank one ear pod out. “You good, Zara?”
I flash a smile. She doesn’t need to know my man situation. She squints, notconvinced, but walks off. I slide the pod back in.Slouch onto the mat, legs out. Heart heavy. Toxic still on loop. I pour my Fiji water down my throat and hum along. “Maybe I took that sht too far… toxic, ooh, toxic…” My eyes sting. Didn’t even notice how long I’ve been zoned out until she calls me again.
“Zara.” I sit up, wiping my eyes fast.
“Yeah?” I ask, pulling the volume down. She points toward the glass doors. And there he is. Nickoi’s posted up against the wall. That unreadable look in his eyes. My heart stumbles. How’d he even know where I’m at? Only Gavin knew. So him chat.
“He came asking for you,” my trainer says. I nod and walk past her. He doesn’t say a word. Just turns and steps outside. I follow. He heads to his GLE, leans back on the bumper like it’s built just for him. My hands slip into my pockets, when did that happen?
“Everything okay?” I ask. He looks up at me. Eyes tired. Jaw clenched.
“Mi good, man. You?” his eyes on me.
“I… am.” Then I see him. Malik. Getting out of his Audi, like the world not already spinning fast enough. I look away immediately. Feel Nickoi watching me. Watching him. Lawd Gad. Malik disappears inside. Nickoi turns back to me, eyes narrowing.
“Who dat?” I blink.
“Who?”
His voice drops. “Malik?” He smirks. Shakes his leg like he already knows the truth. My eyes fall to his Alexander McQueens pressed on the bumper. “A yuh ex?”
How’d he—
“How yuh guess that?” He takes a long puff of his vape. Smoke clouds his face like slow-motion.
“Mi just guess.”
I cock my brow. “He could be my friend… my cousin…” He pulls me to him gently, fingers curling around my wrist. Heat rushes to my cheeks.
“Weh yuh get the name from?” I ask.
“Mi know it,” he says, quiet but firm. I don’t even ask how.
“Gavin told yuh mi deh yah?” I question. He nods again. Then hops in the car. The passenger door swings open. Inside the GLE feels like a spaceship. Leather seats, soft glow, clean scent, mixed with that deep musk cologne he always wears.
“You probably a wonder why mi fawud,” he says, reaching behind the seat. I nod. He pulls out a duffle. Unzips it. Stacks of money. Then an envelope. He rests it on my lap, his fingers brushing against my thigh.
“Open it.”
I nod, heart racing. My hands unfold the envelope and I gasp. It’s my business licenses. Official. Stamped. Approved.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, eyes wide. I throw my arms around him. “Thank you… and I love you.”
“I love you too.” I glance down at the papers again. Boss Lady. For real. I look back at him.
“You coming home?”
He smirks. “I might.”
“You serious, babe?” I ask and he nods. Then exhales another cloud of smoke.
