Too quickly.
I needed to let him go and just be happy for the time we’ve had together.
“I can hear your mind breaking up with me,” he whispered.
This time I didn’t choke back the sob, and my whole body shook.
CHAPTER 36
lukas
My chest ached.Every part of me urged to not let her go, to take back everything that was said and that was implied, that had come out wrong. My whole body screamed at me to wrap her in my arms and to never let her go, and the future be damned. I didn’t want my future if she wasn’t in it.
I just didn’t know how to balance it all, and that was the worst thing—my biggest failure.
I wondered if there would ever be a day that I didn’t put my foot in my mouth around her.
I wondered if after she left this room if I would ever see her again. I didn’t want to believe or imagine that this is how things would end between the two of us. I’d told her I had no plans on ever letting her go…and yet here we were. Angry and insecure and throwing barbed punches at each other because…because…
Her body shook with the force of the sob that tore from her, and not touching her wasn’t an option. Every touch would make leaving that much harder, but it was already near impossible, so what did it actually fucking matter.
I never expected us to crash and burn like this.
I thought that if I ever got the chance to be with her, that we would be forever. I wanted to be her forever, but maybe not.
I spun her around and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her sink into my chest, clinging and as reluctant as me for this to end. Tears leaked from my own eyes as I backed us towards the bed.
One more day.
“I never wanted to let you go,” I said in a quiet voice.
Aimee pulled back and looked at me with red rimmed eyes. I pushed her hair back, away from her face and more tears leaked from both of our eyes. And then she was leaning forward.
And then, she pressed her lips onto mine.
And maybe a stronger man would have pulled back, pulled away, put a stop to what was undoubtedly the worst thing we could do.
But I never said I was strong.
I’d been weak for Aimee Bryant since the first time I’d ever seen her, and had grown weaker and weaker the more I got to know her. Andthatwas the problem.
It didn’t stop my hands from roaming over and up her sides, pushing her shirt up over her head and baring her body to me. I leaned forward and put my mouth on her breast, sucking hard. We stumbled backwards—away from the door—towards the bed. She pulled me down on top of her.
She gasped and shifted on the bed as I sucked and rolled her nipples until she was a breathy moaning mess. And then I let my mouth travel south, down her body. I peppered her body with kisses and licks and nips until I reached the top of her shorts.
I looked up at her, seeking permission. I nearly came undone at the sight of her biting her lower lip and lifting her hips in invitation. The shorts peeled off slowly, and I settled between her legs—each one thrown over my shoulders. Then, I kissed her.
The sound that fell from her mouth had me so painfully hard I thought I might come in my shorts. I sucked and licked andwhen I pressed my fingers into her, Aimee groaned and bucked and I could feel the first stirrings of fluttering as she drew so close to that precipice. I wanted nothing more than to send her careening over it.
I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. But this felt like a finale.
“Lukas,” she moaned.
“Tell me what you want,” I said, punctuating my question with a hard suck and nip to her clit and her hips jerked.
“Use your words, Aimee,” I said, repeating the move.
“More,” she gasped. “I-I want you.”
