Her breaths were quick pants as her body shifted and jerked.
I didn’t think she had much control over the movements.
“Do you want to come on my mouth, fingers or cock?” I asked, curling my fingers to hit that spot inside her.
Every question, action and high we were riding would be regretted later when we floated back down to reality, but right now I just wanted to be with the woman I was in love with—because I was.
Deeply.
Desperately.
Irrevocably.
Right now, right here in what might be the end of our beginning, I just wanted to feel her come on some part of my body. I wanted to feel her tighten and contract and fall. I felt like I needed it more than I needed air. I needed to be able to hold on to this one last piece — knowing how well we fit together.
“You have to use your words, sweetheart,” I curled my fingers again and began to suck hard on her clit, and the only noise that fell from her lips was a low moan as she came.
CHAPTER 37
aimee
It was a bad choice.
But as my body relaxed and turned languid, I knew that the regret would be a future me problem. Right now, at this moment, I wanted absolutely nothing more than for Lukas to bury his dick inside me.
I wanted him to fuck me senseless.
I wanted what all the main female characters in the books I read have.
I wanted to get lost in the feeling of him, the present moment where nothing else mattered besides the ways our bodies fit together.
If I had to do the right thing and give him up, I wanted something to remember him by. Because I was more and more certain that Lukas was it for me. I’d spent too long and too many years thinking my future was Asher. He’d taken over my mind and will to live. I’d loved him so much, I was willing to ruin myself for him. I nearly had.
I felt Lukas’ fingers pull out of me, and I watched through a half lidded gaze as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.
The sight had me clenching.
I stared at him in the early morning light that filtered in through the cracks of the curtains.
His dark hair was tousled and messy. He hadn’t shaved in a few days and his jaw was covered in scruff that had felt divine on the inside of my thighs. His eyes were red rimmed and slightly bloodshot, but I was sure mine were as well. His bare chest was swathed in shadows, but I knew how it felt under my hands, smooth and firm. His boxer briefs were sitting low and not hiding the evidence of how hard he was.
Lukas was gorgeous.
He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect to me., And here I was, letting every bad and negative thing that had ever made me feel small push him away. I didn’t want to, but I wasn’t okay. As much as I wanted to be in a place where I was okay enough to be good for him, I wasn’t.
“I can hear you thinking,” he said, as he kissed his way up my stomach, my chest, up my neck and over my jaw.
I relaxed under him, letting each press of his lips imprint themselves onto my soul. All I could think about is how I would push him away, how he would grow to regret me—everything I would take away from him. A tear leaked out of the corner of my eye and he kissed that away too.
“I want you,” I whispered, and I hope he heard the depth in those words.
The sheer, honest truth.
It really was a case of ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’ That line had always been infuriating in books, because if they could just communicate.
A laugh that sounded like a sob ripped from me. Lukas continued to pepper my skin with kisses. I slid my hands into his hair, gently raking my nails across his scalp.
He hummed against my skin, so I did it again. I let my hands get lost in his hair, explore the hard planes of his shoulders andback and chest. I savored the feel of him, how safe I felt with him over me, his body nestled against mine. He was a heady weight, and I groaned as he rocked his hips.
