“Very true.” He types into his phone again.A few months ago she had me sign paperwork making me the legal father of Benjamin.He swallows hard at the mention of his brother’s name.I don’t know what’s going to happen with Olivia. I know her—she’ll want to be in this child’s life, just not with a starring role, more of a side character that you get a card from at Christmas. Who knows, maybe something more, only the future will tell. I know I bit off a lot, but I didn’t want to have any regrets later on. This is big. It’s a life. Benji is gone, and he can’t raisehis son. I know he’d never ask me to do this, but I want to. I want to shower his child—my child—with the love Ben and I sometimes didn’t bother to express.His chest expands as he looks out at the low hanging moon—a half smile that hangs faceless in the night.It’s not the right time in my life for this to have happened, but it may never have been right.
Blake stills into me a moment, and our breath conjoins in a pale plume of light.How are you going to manage?I ask.
Wyatt offered to help.He flashes the phone my way before continuing.He hired a nanny, a sweet old woman I’ve yet to meet, but he swore he checked her out. I trust him.
I trust him, too.
A comfortable silence crops up as the wind threatens to blow us right over the edge.
“Do you trust me, Annie?” Blake says the words slowly, staggered as if it fatigued and grieved him all at once to consider the alternative.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He nods at his phone.If I could do it all again I’d figure out a way to tell you sooner. I was going to tell you that day your brothers did. Ironic. I guess I got what I deserved.
No, Blake.I wrap my arms around him tight for a moment.You deserve a medal for what you’re about to do. I’m not that big of a deal.
“You are a very big deal.” He clicks into the phone.You are important to me. I would do anything to get back what we had. The price of my silence was far too high.He takes in a large gulp of air preparing for what comes next.Do you still want this with me?
“Yes.” I say it loud without hesitation. “I want everything with you, Blake.”
He closes his eyes as a dull laugh thumps through him.
He holds a finger up a moment and heads to the truck. Blake strides back with a small black bag.
“For you.” He hands it over as if it were just as precious as that baby back at the hospital.
Carefully, I open it revealing a Canon camera that blows doors off the one I happen to own. I’m familiar with this model. It does everything but fly.
I shake my head. “I can’t accept this.” If he returns this, it could buy him three years’ worth of diapers.
He flashes his phone my way.It belonged to Benji. Both he and I would love for you to have it.
Tears come, and I don’t fight them. This is his brother’s camera—his most prized possession up until today.
I nod. “Okay. But it really belongs to your little boy.”
Blake types into his phone.Then you’ll have to teach him to use it when he’s older.
“Done.”
“You’ll still be here.” He doesn’t ask it as a question. Or maybe he did, but I’d like to believe it was a fact.
I bite down on a devilish grin. “You couldn’t stop me.”
“Annie.” His lips fall to mine before he dives into my mouth with relief, with fury, with passion that rivals a thousand romance novels. This, right here, is far more beautiful than the magical view of the snowcapped city.
This is the real magic.
And Blake and I have captured it.
The Hoover Ear Clinicin Los Angeles is unassuming in nature. It sits across from a lustrous well recognized hospital in a mostly residential neighborhood. We park underground and head up to a limestone mecca that feels more like an upscale shopping mall than it does an internationally renowned clinic.
The Excel Implant—the device dubbed as a wondrous miracle by my mother, has been placed in both ears since two days after Christmas. A double implant. All of my mother’s auditory dreams have come true. An entire month has drifted by, and now we’re back in Los Angeles to turn on the devices and see ifmyauditory dreams are about to come true as well. I’ll know within the hour if the implants work for me or not. I’ll either hear the world and all its rainbow of sounds or continue on in the cushioned tunnel of silence that I’ve lived in for so long. I’m not as excited as my mother. I guess you could call me pessimistic, pragmatically suspicious—or simply a little frightened of the unknown. The surgeon suggested we wait a month to give the scar tissue a chance to heal, and today is the big day. It’s time to flip a switch and hope for the best.
Mom leads the way down the long hall to the audiologist’s office. Both Bryson and Holt insisted on coming, and I’m more than thankful. They’ve weathered this hearing storm with me from the beginning. It’s only fair they should be here for the tail end, if it is just that. Or as an optimist might point out, a very loud beginning.
Blake tightens his grip around my hand as I bite down on the wild grin waiting to take over. Yes, Blake came, too. We’ve been inseparable since the day baby Ben was brought into this world. He’s the sweetest little miracle God ever did make.
