“And Reeve?”
“I don’t know what to think. He’s everything he seems to be: arrogant and annoying and crude. But then there’s everything underneath that I almost can’t believe I understand so well. He’s so alone. And he has all this good stuff in his heart to give; it’s like he’s overflowing with it because he’s never had anyone to give it to.” I sigh. “Do I sound nuts?”
“You don’t sound like my Jade. You do sound like someone in love, though.”
I put my hand on hers. “Oh, no, I am nowhere near that far gone, girl. Believe me.”
Lenni keeps her lips pressed tight together, but her blue eyes say it all.
“It just can’t be. Football comes first for Reeve, and he’s definitely not looking for a relationship.”
“Jade! Did you learn nothing from what I went through with Cam? I was in the same exact place as you last year.”
“No, you assumed Cam put football before everything else. Reeve straight up told me. It’s the only thing that matters in his life.”
It crushes me to see my brilliant, tenacious, always-has-a-plan best friend slowly deflate. “So you’re saying you guys don’t have a future. Okay. That’s not new for you.”
“No, but what’s new is feeling a little ... sad about it.”
“Aww, look at you being vulnerable.”
“Yeah, yeah. It won’t happen again,” I grumble.
Her mouth twists uncertainly. “Have you let him know there are real feelings here?”
“No!” I say. “And I don’t plan to.”
“What if he feels the same way?”
“We’re both better off if we don’t get into that.”
“So ... you’re just going to pretend you don’t really like him?”
I shrug. “I’m just going to focus on the fun stuff. The stuff that won’t get anyone hurt.”
“Ah.” She raises her eyebrows. “Good luck with that.”
“I don’t need luck. Reeve makes it easy to focus on the fun stuff.”
“Oh?”
I put my hand on my chest and sigh. “Lenni, I just can’t tell you.” A memory washes over me, his muscles rock hard and straining as he held me in place, thrusting into me with perfect rhythm. Only when I open my eyes do I realize I closed them at all.
Lenni’s grinning. “Still with me?”
“Barely.” I reach for my wine and take a big swallow, then stand up. “Okay, maybe we leave it at that for today.”
“Your choice.” Lenni takes a sip from her cup, but as I head for the kitchen, she stops me. “Actually, Jade?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t hate me for saying this, but the last couple weeks? This is the happiest I’ve seen you in—no, you were the happiest I’ve ever seen you. Period.”
A familiar longing wells up inside me, tugging at my chest. “You’re right. He makes me really, really happy. Happy in a way I never expected from anyone, least of all Reeve. But I don’t know what to do with that. Rearrange my life?”
“Maybe.”
I shake my head. “If Reeve and I understand one thingabout each other, it’s that we have big plans, and a relationship has no part in those plans.”
