Something tugs inside my heart. I long to be what he needs. “I’m there,” I pledge.
I watch the little worry line on his forehead smooth out, and my heart fills at the sight, and I wonder if this might be our peak. Surely it can only go downhill from here, because this feels so damn good.
It’s too soon to ask the questions I want to ask him: Do you feel what I feel? Is it me you need or could it be any girl? And it’s too soon to ask the questions I want to ask myself: Am I only fooling myself or does this go beyond laughter and insane attraction and amazing sex? Is this deep connection I feel with him real?
Luckily, Reeve makes it easy to find distractions from the questions that sift through a girl’s brain. I unclasp my bra and let it fall open, watching his eyes darken with desire, then take his hand and slide one finger into my mouth. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, and his free hand squeezes my thigh. Then I guide his wet finger to my breast and circle it around my nipple. I smile up at him and let him finish what I started.
TWENTY-SEVEN
jade
Of course Lenniwould choose now to be out of town—now that I’ve spent hours replaying my night in Reeve’s bed and telling myself it’s okay to want it to happen again ... just as long as I’m talking about sex and not the rush of exhilaration I felt at hearing he wants me at his game. Now that I’m in desperate need of a levelheaded sounding board, Lenni has to run off to her hometown to attend her brother’s fall play. Fortunately for our carpet, which I’ve just about worn a hole through with my pacing, she’s due back at any minute.
The second she walks through the door, I take her duffel bag, toss it to the floor, and squeeze her tight. “Don’t ever leave me again!”
“Um, nice to see you too.” She pulls back to search my face, giving me an uncertain smile. “Everything go okay while I was gone?”
“Come in. Sit down.” I push her toward the couch. “I already poured you a glass of wine.”
She sits as instructed and picks up the red plastic cup filled with wine. “We’re out of wineglasses, I take it?”
“Dishes may need washing, but I can’t think about thatright now.” I suck down a slug of wine from my own cup before flopping onto the couch. “I slept with Reeve. Twice.”
A slow smile moves over her face. “So it’s finally happened.”
“Finally?”
“I should really start playing the lotto, what with my knack for knowingexactlyhow things are going to turn out.”
“So you’ve been expecting this. Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.”
“I hate your respect for my privacy sometimes! If only you’d pried, I wouldn’t have been wrestling with this by myself.”
“Wrestling with what exactly?” She raises a knowing eyebrow.
“Ugh, fine. I like him.”
Lenni snatches a pillow off the couch, buries her face in it, and lets out a little shriek. When she uncovers her face, she’s wide-eyed and beaming. “I cannotbelieve this. I mean, I can, because the chemistry between you two could light a room on fire, but still. You and Reeve for real?”
“Slow down, ‘for real’ can have a lot of meanings, and none of them probably apply to us.”
Lenni cocks her head. “If there wasn’t something special here, I’d have been hearing about it for weeks. You never keep anything to yourself,” she says knowingly, and I don’t like that smug smile on her face.
“I only kept it to myself because I thought it would end. And because it’s weird. It’s not like we’re a real couple.”
“No? You’ve had plenty of situationships like that, and I still managed to learn the size and shape of those dudes’ dicks the same day you did.”
I curl my lip and look away because she’s right.
“What’s different?”
“I don’t know. Everything.” I stare down into my cup of wine. “Everything is different with him.”
Lenni’s silence begs me to go on.
“I don’t know what’s happening. I’m confused and I am not used to feeling that way. I loved Sam. I liked the guy I dated before him. I found that baseball player dude annoying but a great fuck. Ialwaysknow how I feel and what I want with men.”
