We were here, together.
It was allpretty magic.
27
Each kiss. Each touch.
Each word of love I’d never thought I would be so afraid of.
With Ryan, it was magic, and I couldn’t bear to send it on its way.
I leaned closer for another kiss, another lick, another touch, as if I wanted to slowly devour him once and for all and make us one person. Perfectly evening out the other in cosmic unity.
Every other time we kissed and touched, it felt like we were exploring. We listened to quiet sounds and breaths the other made just as we learned more about each other through words. This time, we already knew. We still waited for something new, found a breath of fresh air in one another as we came up for oxygen we didn’t want unless it was found between open mouths and the gentle scrape of teeth.
But now, when Ryan reached for the straps of my dress, he didn’t hesitate as he pushed them down. His hands reverently skimmed over my skin. He wanted to see me as much as I wanted to feel every piece and part of him.
I pushed at the waistband of his pants that he stepped out of. He didn’t want his fancy presentation pants getting wrinkled before meeting my lips again in one last sweeping kiss as he pressed me back onto the bed.
“Are we really?”
I paused, staring up at him. My legs hooked around his waist. I nodded, looking around. Quickly, I grabbed my shirt, pulling it on over my arms and wiggling out of his reach and off to the other side of the bed. “Just a second.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back.”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever run faster. I held Ryan’s shirt to my chest as I raced down the hallway to the bathroom. When I swung open the cabinets under the sink, hair and personal care items burst out at me. I slid one of the bottom drawers open, knowing that when Ana had lived here for a few months, she wouldn’t go without stocking some other necessities.
“Aha.”
By the time I made it back to my room, Ryan didn’t look like he’d had time to move.
Shutting the door behind me, I jumped back up onto the bed next to him. The square package dropped between us. “In case.”
His teeth began to show as he smiled.
“There’s no one I would rather be with,” Ryan said.
The words made it hard to breathe, with the emotion catching behind my eyes. He couldn’t mean that, and yet he did.
“From the moment I saw you, I knew it somewhere inside me.”
And I didn’t doubt it for a moment. Not anymore.
Ryan stared down at the gray packaging. “Can you help me put it on?”
I stared down at the condom between his fingers, reaching out to smooth my hand over his. “I would love to put it on you.”
“But for now …” His lips carefully followed the path of where he pulled away his shirt I was still clutching to my midsection.
He followed with his hands this time, as if he didn’t want to miss a single spot, as I remained on my knees, watching as he pressed his damp mouth over my skin, as if worshiping each line and freckle he came across. The pad of his finger swiped back and forth along the top of my thin bra, sending a shiver through me.
“I think we should take this off.”
“I think so too.” Meeting his hands around my back, I gently reached to help him undo the single clasp, but he already had. I slowly let the material fall forward, slipping down my arms. “You sure you’ve never done this before?”
“I said I was a virgin, not that I never managed to get anywhere before with a girl,” he said, gesturing back to himself. “Who could help themselves with all this?”
