I was done hiding.
“You have to know, I wasn’t thinking the other night. I don’t think either of us was thinking clearly,” Ryan started. “The only reason I didn’t show up here, banging down the door sooner, is because I was terrified you’d throw me right back out. I wanted to give you some time, but then I realized that you weren’t coming back to campus. You weren’t at your library spot or anything. My witch wasn’t managing to piece herself back together, and I knew I had to come find you, whether you wanted me to or not,” explained Ryan. “And I thought about that too—if we should have each other. Because you are right; we aren’t perfect pieces of a puzzle.”
I looked down, but not before I caught the shake of his head.
“But somehow,” he said, “we fit. You are the best thing to happen in my life in a long time, Lu. So, no, you aren’t too late. You had a reason to come back on campus to look for me, and I’m so glad you did.”
I stared at him, pretty positive my heart had stopped.
“You could never be too late,” he whispered.
“How do you mean that?” I didn’t try to hide the way my voice shook. “I’m terrible to you.”
“Now, who’s lying?”
We both chuckled.
“The last week has been hell. I’m sorry I didn’t stop you from walking away. I love you. That hasn’t changed. Loving you might be the only courageous thing I can make my mind up about and not question in the slightest. The rest of the decisions in my life were made for me. They were fine decisions, but in the end, they were never mine. So, I’m going to be courageous again, Lu. I’m going to make my own decision. I’m choosing you, whether you like it or not. I hope that’s all right.”
I stared at him. The miserable look on my face must’ve been enough of an invitation for Ryan. He extended his arm, and I couldn’t help myself any longer. I fell over to the side, resting my body on his chest, letting my head mold up and into his broad shoulder that took the load.
A shiver racked my body against his warmth.
Ryan held on tighter, pulling me into his embrace with his other arm so I couldn’t escape.
“It’s definitely all right,” I murmured.
“You’re not so scary that you’re going to make me run away from you that easy.”
I inhaled, smelling him and a scent I knew well. I pulled away, narrowing my eyes at him. “Why do you smell like me?”
“Oh, right.” He pulled back a fraction. “When you saw me and Natalie, we were cleaning out your room with most of your stuff. All of your things are back at my place. Housing isn’t going to let Natalie go too long without another roommate, it looks like. While I was clearing off your desk, I might have dropped a bottle or two of your perfume.”
I dipped my nose back into his chest and smelled him again, taking in the aroma of spring flowers and citrus.
“Please tell me you dropped them all over her floor on purpose?”
“Now, that would be devious.” He smirked. “She’s sorry. She told me about what had happened. She hasn’t spoken to Lauren since. Not since I lost my shit after I heard what actually went down that night.”
“You?”
His eyes widened, as if remembering. “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll hear about it when you get back on campus since you can stop avoiding me now. Big thing here is, Natalie wants to apologize.”
“I’ll believe it when I hear it.” I knew deep down that Natalie hadn’t done what she did on her own. I saw it in her face that night, however angry I was. It was all Lauren. “I’m still much more interested in Ryan Gardner causing chaos on campus.”
“Another time.”
I chuckled, and he held me closer. My chest shook somewhere between relief and wanting to cry all over again.
“I missed you, Lu-Lu.”
“I missed you too, Ry-Ry,” I tried to joke as I ran my fingers down his cheek and along his jaw. I cupped him there, so he couldn’t move as I stared at him, trying to commit every freckle and speck of blue in his eyes to memory. “So much.”
Not pulling away, Ryan instead carefully slid forward until our noses brushed against each other and then our mouths. It was a whisper of a kiss, smooth and sweeping. Gods, I missed him so much.
We spoke sadness and joy as we kissed, grasping onto one another as if it would keep us afloat in this weird, messy life that never stopped confounding.
And yet here we were.
