"I don't— It's not—" I continued to sputter.
Gael chuckled and put a hand on the top of my head, stroking my hair. He ducked down slightly to meet my wide gaze.
"It took me by surprise, too," he said. "I never thought I'd feel that way for anyone. I had you, and I had the guys, and that was enough. But Jessie…" His eyes gaze went distant, tender. He didn't need to continue. From the look in his eyes, I knew exactly what he was saying.
Love changed everything.
My heart pounded heavily in my chest. Was it love I felt for Liam? A jolt of panic shot through me. I didn't know if I was ready for that. As much as I liked him, as crazy as I was for him, love was something else entirely.
Was I even capable of loving again? For a long time, I'd thought my heart had died along with Harper.
Did I even want to love again? Did I want to risk opening my heart, just to have it ripped out of my chest?
"It's okay if you don't know yet," Gael reassured me. "But just think about it. He makes you happy. Before he showed up I would have given anything to see you smile that way again." Gael stopped, hesitating for a moment, as if wondering whether to continue. "I wanted to run something by you," he said. "About Liam. And the band."
I frowned, wondering what he could possibly have to ask.
"What do you think about asking him to join?" Gael asked.
I started. "Join the band? As in, for real?"
Gael nodded emphatically. "Yes. He fits in perfectly with us. We're so much better with him. You know we are. We've never been as good as we have than when we're playing with him. The guys and I talked about it. We're all on board with the idea. We think Liam should be a permanent part of Cherry Lips."
My mind whirled as I contemplated the idea. I knew Gael was right. We were better with Liam.
But bringing him on had always been a temporary thing. All of us knew it. Besides, Liam seemed more than happy with his position as a session guitarist.
"Even if I agreed, I don't know if he'd go for it," I said.
"Why not?" Gael asked. "We all work great together. Why wouldn't he want to join?"
"Every time it was brought up, he seemed not too keen on the idea." Something occurred to me then. "Some bad things went down with his old band. Maybe he just doesn't want to risk things falling apart again."
"Then we convince him," Gael said simply. "If you agree, if all of us agree, then we can make the offer and convince him." Gael pinned me down with a stare. "Do you agree?"
"Aren't you worried?" I asked. "About me and him? Band members dating each other doesn't exactly have a good track record. Look what just happened to us. We're in the middle of this huge—" I cut myself off, not knowing exactly what we were in the middle of. A break up? A fight? "—thing." I finished lamely.
"I was worried at first," Gael said. "But despite what went down between the two of you, you've still both been professional. We've still rocked on stage. I trust you to be adults about it. Besides," Gael chuckled darkly. "There's no reason why we can't just kick him out again if things really go south."
"Let me think about it," I said.
I hadn't talked to Liam since that night when I'd told him all about Harper. He'd apologized to Morris, apologized to me.
But I still didn't know if I could get over the terrible words he'd flung at me.
If Liam couldn't get over his trust issues, I didn't think there could ever be a future for us.
