37
After Gael left my apartment, I mused on his words while absent-mindedly cleaning the place up. I hadn't done the laundry or the dishes in days. As I stood in front of the sink and washed plate after plate, I couldn't help remembering that time at Liam's house. I'd been trying to clean up with him pressed against my back. Eventually I'd given up and we'd made a beeline to his bedroom.
The memory was both sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. I cared for Liam, so much, but I didn't know how to get that back.
I didn't know if it was even possible.
I didn't know if I even wanted to.
I was just putting the last fork away when my phone pinged. I glanced at it. My hand froze with the fork still grasped between my fingers.
Liam had messaged me.
I debated whether or not to read it. It was late. I should have been in bed already. But I couldn't help myself. I knew I'd never be able to sleep without checking it.
I picked up my phone.
When you and Morris are done writing your song, I'd love to hear it.
My chest clenched with a painful ache. Liam was trying. Could I really ask for more than that? I wished I could talk with him in person. I needed to know what was going through his head when he'd said those things.
Without letting myself second guess what I was doing, I grabbed my bag and left the apartment. I made my way to Liam's place, all the while trying to push aside my doubts and worries. I had to say my piece. I had to get it it off my chest.
And depending on how Liam responded, well, that would be my answer.
I knocked on the front door of the huge multi-story house. I had no more polish on my nails to scratch at so I played with the hem of my shirt instead. I hadn't told Liam I was coming over. Maybe he wasn't even home.
I was seconds away from turning around and leaving when the door opened. Liam's surprised expression soon melted into a kind of hopeful look. He stood there, staring at me, his eyes roving all over my face, as if soaking in every details. As if he hadn't seen me in years. It had only been a few days.
"Do you mind if I come in?" I asked.
He gestured for me to enter, the look in his eyes still a bit dazed. I walked through the door and made my way to the kitchen. Neutral territory. I took a seat at the island counter. Liam followed, staying a safe distance away, not crowding me.
Now that I was here in front of him, I was at a loss for what to say. I admitted as much to him.
"Let me start, then," he said. "With an apology."
"You've already apologized," I pointed out. "I accepted it."
"It still needs saying," he said. "I'm sorry for accusing you of cheating on me. It's like I said before, I really never thought that. I was just—"
"I know about Chad and Paula," I interrupted.
Liam's face went blank, frozen. His fists cleaned at his sides. He took a breath in, then let it out slowly. His hands relaxed.
"How?" he asked.
"I saw the wedding invitation in a pile of papers," I explained. "Then I saw some photos of you and her online. It all came together when Morris mentioned he got his own invitation a few days ago." I studied Liam closely. His eyes had darkened, a shadow falling across his face. "You got the invitation to their wedding only a few days before our fight."
He nodded slowly, but didn't say anything further. I continued for him.
"Your invitation was all crumpled up. You crushed it into a ball. Then you smoothed it out and kept it. Why?"
"I thought—" he faltered, then started again. "I thought I was over it. Over her. Over them." He let out a derisive laugh. "I have no idea what they were thinking, inviting me. What they did was awful, but I didn't think they were that cruel. Best I can figure, they hired a wedding planner who invited all their colleagues without knowing what went down." Liam came over and sat down heavily on the stool next to me. He didn't look at me. He placed his hands palm down on the counter, his fingers tapping a staccato rhythm. "I thought I'd put it behind me, what they'd done. I didn't think I was still so affected by it. But apparently not. When I walked in and saw you hugging Morris, all I could think was, it's happening again."
"You thought I was going to leave you for another man," I finished for him.
His hands trembled. "It wasn't just that. I saw them—" He exhaled sharply, a pained sound emitting from the back of his throat. "I walked in on them," he confessed quietly. "I had the ring in my pocket. I'd been waiting for the right moment for weeks. Then I walked in and saw them together." His voice broke as he whispered the words again. "I saw them."
