36
Morris and I worked on the song for most of the day. It was as heart wrenching as I'd imagined it would be, but it was also something of a relief.
Through the music, through the lyrics, I was able to express all the things I hadn't been able to say out loud.
I came home and immediately flopped onto the sofa, worn out, exhausted, but with my heart feeling lighter than it had in years. The song wasn't done yet, but it was a start. We'd continue working on it until we got it right.
As I began to fall into a light nap, I heard a knock at my door. A part of me wondered if it was Liam. My heart leaped. When I opened the door, my brother was standing on the other side.
I didn't have time to ask him why he'd come. The moment he saw me, he pulled me into a fierce hug.
"How you feeling?" he murmured.
"Better," I said. "Sorry I missed rehearsal."
"No worries. We all understand. Besides, the rest of us have skipped out for worse reasons." Gael pulled back and looked into my eyes. "The guys are worried about you."
"I'm doing fine. Maybe even better than fine."
"I'm glad. Because if you were still upset over what Liam said I would have punched him in the face for you."
"I know you would have. You don't need to."
"The offer still stands." Gael raised his clenched fist and shook it. "No one messes with my baby sister."
I winced inwardly. If Gael knew the whole story, if he knew Liam and I had been together and he'd broken my heart, Liam would have been done for.
But then Gael said something that surprised the hell out of me.
"Are you going to take him back?" he asked.
I gaped and stammered. Gael laughed.
"Did you think none of us noticed?" he asked. "The way you looked at each other? All those times you snuck away together?" Gael smirked. "You weren't exactly subtle."
"Shit," I groaned.
"No, it's fine," Gael shook his head. "The guys and I talked about it. As long as it doesn't affect the music, we're cool with it." He gave me a soft smile. "We just want you to be happy. And up until a few days ago, you seemed the happiest you've ever been." His smile faded into a glower. "But if Liam did something or said something shitty, then he's out."
"He—" I paused to consider my words. "He said some things. Things that did hurt me at the time. But I think I understand now why he said them. I'm just not sure whether or not understanding why he said them is enough. He still said them. Some things you can't just get over."
"I get that. Some things are unforgivable." He cocked his head at me. "But is this one of them?"
"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I can forgive, but I don't know if I can forget."
Gael hummed thoughtfully. "I had the same problem with Jessie. You know I did some dumb things."
"And she forgave you."
He nodded. "I didn't expect her to, but she did. Somehow, she was able to look past what I did and understand why I did it."
"And that was enough?"
"For her it was. Maybe it's different with you and Liam." Gael shrugged. "But love is love."
"Lo—" I nearly choked on my tongue.
"Are you saying you're not in love with him?"
