I wouldn’t be able to see the two of them together at the wedding. It would kill me. What if he loved him? What if they slow-danced together, and I had to watch them kiss and hold hands? My heart felt heavy at the thought.
“I meant that rhetorically, Beau. Maverick hasn’t mentioned anything. Which means he doesn’t know what you’ve done. Consider yourself lucky.” She patted my arm. “But you need to figure it out before you leave.”
I could do that. I could make Dean realize that I was sorry. And tell him I loved him. So that he would forgive me. And come back to Boston with me for good.
Right?
I just had to grovel a bit. And pray that Maverick didn’t know about it yet.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Dean
Being back in Canfield was hard. The second the Uber pulled down Main Street, my skin prickled with anxiety. It wasn’t all terrible memories. Holiday Restaurant was still there with a parking lot full of cars. I took a lot of my high school dates there and even kissed Helena there for the first time. The smile that I was wearing dropped from my face when I spotted the big white church up ahead, and I turned away. I didn’t know if my parents were still here, or if my father was still preaching his lies, but I didn’t even want to see that place. Or think about it.
Once the car pulled up in front of Helena’s, I thanked the driver and climbed from the vehicle to find my ex-girlfriend standing on the walkway, her arms folded over her chest. Her long dark hair whipped across her face before she rushed toward me and hugged me so tight I was sure she took my breath away.
“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” Helena murmured. “You swore you’d never come back to Canfield.”
I chuckled as I released her. “Yeah, well, so did Maverick, but here we are.”
“Here we are.” Helena’s blue eyes sparkled with happiness. “I can’t believe Mav and Jax are getting married. I mean, that’s so insanely crazy.” She reached out to touch my arm. “Have you heard from him?”
I shook my head. “No.” Tears burned my eyes like they always did when I thought of Beau. It never seemed to get easier. “But I’m going to be an adult about it when I see him. I don’twant to ruin Maverick’s big day. He deserves everything to go perfectly.”
“Come on, let’s get you inside. The guestroom is all set for you.” Helena motioned for me to follow her inside the house.
Blake had offered to let me stay with him, which was where Killian and Matty would be staying, but I wanted to spend a little time with Helena, too. I followed behind her, and when she pushed open the door to the guestroom, I barked out a laugh. She had a giant picture on the wall of Mulligan, one that was taken when we were just teenagers practicing in the Olsons’ basement. My hair was still green, but much shorter. Maverick was beaming at the camera, holding his drumsticks in his hand, while Killian was trying to look fierce and angry. Blake was giving a shy smile, his arms folded over his chest, but his gaze wasn’t on the camera. Most likely he was watching Tom, who was standing next to Helena, who was taking the picture.
“It’s great, right?” She giggled at me. “I should post it on my IG sometime. People would lose their minds.”
I nodded. “You should. Killian looks so weird. Not a single tattoo on his body.” I placed my suitcase on the floor. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”
“Of course,” Helena told me. “We’re having a little bonfire thing tonight. Everyone is coming over. And Jax is trying to convince Tom to come, too, but we’ll see. He doesn’t leave the house much. I’ve seen him a handful of times since he moved back home.”
My brows dipped. “Convince him? Why? It’s been years since we all saw one another. And what do you mean he moved back home? Since when?”
“I shouldn’t tell you.”
“You absolutely should.”
Helena let out a long sigh and dragged a hand through her hair. “You heard about the accident, right?”
“Obviously not.” I sat down on the bed. “Why don’t you start at the beginning and fill me in on what I’m missing?”
She joined me on the bed. “Tom doesn’t play hockey anymore.” And then Helena launched into a story that had me staring at her with tears in my eyes and my mouth hanging open. “The guy hit him in the face with his skate, Dean. Tom is so terrified to get back on the ice that he came home. He stopped playing hockey, has some serious PTSD, and he never leaves the house. I think he’s afraid people will stare at the scar on his face, but honestly, it’s not as bad as he thinks it is. I mean, it’s obviously there, but he’s still Tommy Olson. Just a little grumpier than he was before.”
“Holy shit.” I brushed the tears from my face. “That’s horrible.” I couldn’t imagine going through something like that. Tom had wanted nothing more than to follow in his big brother’s footsteps.
We sat in silence for a few minutes until Helena patted my arm and climbed to her feet. “Well, I have to start getting ready for this bonfire tonight. Care to help?”
“Will there be macaroni salad?” My stomach growled at the thought. Helena made the best macaroni salad.
She grinned. “You and Tom, I swear. Yes, there will be.”
“Then tell me where to start first,” I told her.
SITTING IN THE BACKby the fire, watching my brother all loved up with his fiancé, my best friends with their significant others, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. It didn’t matter how much macaroni salad I consumed or s’mores I ate, that little part of me that missed Beau wasn’t going to go away. And what the hell was going on with Tom and Blake? Was my bass player in love with his best friend, too? It would make a lot of sense,since they were a lot like Jax and Mav. They had been attached at the hip.
