Hutch stared at me before he shook his head. “There is noit, Jillian. I did you a favor. It’s done. Now leave me alone.” He started up the grass and then the steps to his apartment while I watched. He stopped when he realized I was still there. “Go home.”
Hot tears filled my eyes. “Why are you being like this to me now? I wasn’t the one that was mean to you, that was Knox. I thought we were friends.” My throat felt tight all of a sudden.
Hutch stared at me from the top of the stairs. “We’re not friends, Jillian. We can’t be friends. Don’t you understand that? We’re too different. You don’t belong in my world, and I certainly don’t belong in yours.” He began to unlock the front door to his apartment. When I started up the steps, I thought maybe, when he pushed open the door, he might see that I was upset and hurting. “Go home, Jills. Knox is right,” Hutch shouted, and I couldn’t help but notice the look on his face. He actually believed the words he was saying.
“Hutch—” He didn’t even let me finish. Instead, he slammed the door, and I heard the click of the lock behind it. I stood there, hurt and angry, as tears streamed down my face, unsure of what had just happened. It just felt like Hutch had punched me right in the stomach.
Once I was able to finally move my feet, I managed to walk down the steps, down the driveway, and to my house. I was thankful that my mother was in bed, but wondered if maybe Jo was awake. It was possible she was still out with Pat at his place or sleeping, but I felt soothed when I knocked softly on her door and heard her call out, “Come in.”
When I stepped into her room, she was lying on her bed, dressed in red pajama shorts and a matching t-shirt, her face buried in ancient copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. “Yes, I’m reading it again, but you know...what happened?” She turned to look at me and tossed the book onto the bed. “Did he try something or hurt you?” Jo jumped to her feet.
I shook my head as fresh tears began to pour from my eyes. “No, he...Knox was there. He was really horrible, and I think Hutch was more embarrassed than anything.” I sniffed.
“Thanks,” I said as my sister handed me a tissue. I dabbed at my nose before I went on, “I wish I knew what caused Hutch to act the way he does, Joey, because sometimes?” I nibbled on my bottom lip. “Sometimes he says things, does things that confuses me, you know?” I sat down on the edge of her bed.
Jo’s brows dipped. “No, I don’t, because you haven’t told me.” She touched my arm in an act of comfort and flashed a tender smile. “Want me to sleep in your room tonight.” She flashed a smile. “You know, like when we were kids.” I nodded, hating the thought of being alone. “Great, let me grab my phone and I’ll be right there.”
I watched as my sister gathered her phone, a pillow, and then we moved to my room where we talked, laughed, and stayed up until midnight. I told her about what happened with Hutch, along with the run-in with Knox and Madison, while she talked about Patrick and their future plans. I always knew she planned to marry him, but she wanted to at least graduate college first. By the time we both fell asleep around three in the morning, I felt a little better, although my ego was still bruised.
Chapter Five
Hutch
If I wasn’t the worstperson on the entire planet, I was pretty damn close. I never should have said those terrible things to Jillian. Those were my insecurities, not hers. In addition, it wasn’t her fault that Knox was the biggest asshole I had ever met, yet I couldn’t stop the word vomit that slipped from my mouth, and when I saw the tears on her cheeks? It was too late to take the verbal lashing back. It made me hate myself more than I already did.
I didn’t sleep much after Jillian left. On Sunday, I walked around, feeling as if I was trapped in my own personal hell, and reminisced what it felt like sitting next to her on the Ferris wheel. How she watched me eating the candy apple with lust in her eyes. How she had been so close to me, her hand sandwiched between mine, and how the moon seemed to sparkle on her skin. She was so sweet, pure, and if she knew me, really knew me, why I was the way I was...It only took Knox to remind me that Jillian had her entire future laid out to pull the rug out from underneath any thoughts I had of a relationship with her.
It still didn’t stop me from my picking my cell up every damn five minutes to text her how sorry I was, only to delete the message before I hit send.
Patrick stopped by in the afternoon, trying to get me to talk to him, but he should have known better. I let him into my place and watched as he took off his shoes before he moved to sit down on the sofa.
“Don’t ask,” I warned, leaning against the wall. “It’s done.” I waved my hand at him, trying to push his thoughts away.
Pat rolled his eyes. “You sure about that? I saw how you were with her at the beach. Both times. I think you like Jillian more than you’re letting on. What happened?” He brought his right foot up to his left knee.
I raised one brow. “You already know.” I looked up at the ceiling before I dragged my eyes back down to look at my brother. “What’d she say?” God, I hated how weak my voice sounded.
