“Youweresaying goodbye,” he says as he looks me in the eye. “Please don’t do this.”
“I have to. You don’t understand.”
“Then fucking help me understand!” He snaps. He breathes hard as choked sobs run out of his throat. “Help me understand, Noah,” he says quietly now.
“I can’t… I’m sorry,” I choke out before heading out the door.
I can’t turn back. If I turn back, I’ll just stop and tell him I was joking. Then I’ll stay and forget about it. Then everyone will get hurt. They’ll hurt everyone I love.
But why, though? What did I do? Why do they want to ruin everything I’ve built here? I just want everything to go back to the way it was before.
I’m sobbing now as I climb into my taxi. My breathing heavy, but my tears are heavier. Elijah stares at me with tears in his eyes as the taxi drives off.
I rushinto the train station and use the ticket machines to buy a one-way ticket. I don’t plan on coming back. I take a seat on a cold metal bench. No one is around. Quiet sobs fill my heart with so much sadness that it feels like a knife against my throat.
I can’t breathe.
I breathe in, but not enough air fills my lungs. The cold air of the night continues to nip at my skin. I cuddle my bag, wishing I could hug Teddy one last time. If I knew this was going tohappen, I would have given him more kisses. I would have told him I loved him again.
How pathetic of me.
The most pathetic part is how I expected coming home to be a good idea. I expected things to go smoothly. All I ever wanted was for my life to mean something. I don’t want to change the world, I just want mine to be a little bit brighter. I got a boyfriend who cares for me deeper than I ever imagined another human being was capable of doing. I have friends who would do anything for me. I reconnected with my best friend, and it felt like I never left.
Now the Bronze family has ruined it. They ruined my life by killing my mother. And now they’re doing it again.
I want to hurt them. I want them to die. But I know I won’t win. I can’t risk the lives of those I love. It’s better this way. I have to leave in order to protect them.
You’re a fucking coward Noah.
All you ever do is run away.
Do you really think you’re a good person?
I hear a loud clattering of a door. I already know who it is before I see their face.
Teddy bursts onto the platform, fury surging through their veins.
“Noah, what the hell are you doing?” Teddy shouts. Their anger is wet and messy as he marches towards me. I begin to stand as he reaches me.
“Teddy please don’t do this, I?—”
“No, there is not a single thing you can say that will make this okay. After everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve said to each other… you’re going to leave? Just like that?” he cries. I hate to see him like this.
But there’s no other way.
“Just like that,” I say, trying to keep my tears at bay. His glassy eyes shine under the fluorescent light of the train platform. He looks like he’s just been shot as a train speeds past us, his chocolate hair flutters around in the wind.
“What’s happened? Why all of a sudden?” he asks, his voice cracking.
“I just… I have to do this. I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit,” he spits. He takes a step towards me. “Something has happened. Why would you leave me like this?” he cries, trying to hold my hand, but I shrug him off.
“I’m sorry, I have to go,” I repeat, my tears betraying me. I look him dead in the eye, trying to look as convincing as possible. I don’t want him to get hurt, but in turn, I’m breaking his heart.
Better a broken heart than being dead.
I’ll just have to live with the guilt.
