By moving.
Twelve hours later,I’m in my mom’s car, driving away from Kahului Airport. She lays a gentle hand on my forearm. “I’m glad you’re here,” she says.
“Yeah, me too.”
Not really. I’m miserable. I thought the sun and warm air would make me feel at least a little better, but they don’t.
“I wish it was under better circumstances,” she says. “You’re sure that?—”
“Yeah,” I say, cutting her off. “I’m sure.”
She nods, keeping her eyes on the road.
“Sorry I don’t have a place to stay yet,” I say. “I can find a hotel for tomorrow.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re always welcome to stay with me. I’ve got plenty of space.”
Half an hour later, I find out that “plenty of space” means an air mattress in her living room, but beggars can’t be choosers. It’s evening, and I’m exhausted from not sleeping the night before.
“I can make dinner,” Mom says.
I shake my head. “I’m not hungry.”
She rubs my back, and for a moment, I feel a little better. “It can only go up from here. Ride the wave.” She gives me a hug, and I wrap my arms around her. She looks up and gives me a grin. “And tomorrow morning, we ride.”
“Sounds good.”
She leaves me to unpack, so I roll my suitcase into an inconspicuous corner and get settled on the air mattress. Man, I really thought I’d feel better once I was here. After graduating high school, I’ve dreamed of living back here in Hawaii. But now that it’s actually a possibility, all I want to do is leave.
On Thursday morning,five days later, I’m woken from my post-surf nap by a phone call from Chase. I answer the call, still lying on my back on my air mattress and staring up at the ceiling. “Hey, man.”
“Hey, Ryan. How’s it going?”
I don’t say anything. I didn’t tell him I was going to tell Claire how I felt, since he was opposed to that idea in the first place. And I don’t really feel like getting into everything now.
Was he right after all?
“Okayyy,” he says. “I’ll take that to mean ‘not so good.’ But I’ll see you tonight at graduation, right? And dinner after?”
Ah, that’s right. Tonight is graduation, which typically requires all faculty to attend unless we use a sick day. Every year, Chase and I hang out and go to dinner after. It became a tradition after our first year. Last year, Claire came with us. The graduation ceremony is boring, but the three of us were able to make it bearable.
But I just left without telling him. “Sorry, man. I won’t be there.”
“No way. Did you get sick?”
“No. I’m in Maui.”
“Maui! Awesome! How long will you be there?”
I hesitate. I haven’t told my coworkers I’m here. I just submitted my day off through the electronic system and figured I’d avoid any questions about my future until I knew for sure.
But it’s pretty much decided—I’m staying. Whether I get this job or not, I can’t go back to Coastal Vista. Not after baring my soul and getting flat-out rejected.
“I’m not coming back,” I finally say.
Chase doesn’t say anything at first. I think I shocked him. “But…dude. Your job. It’s so good.”
“I know.”
