‘It killed my credibility.I even got fired from a freaking Pollo Pops because people wouldn’t stop coming in to take pictures!’
Wilma blew out a breath.She knew I was right.It was one of the worst decisions I’d ever made.
‘You could always do those personalised video messages.People would love to hear you do the whole jingle.’
‘No!I’m trying to distance myself from that.Not lean into it.’
I just wanted to make music again.
Not the shit the record company forced me to sing when I was in the band.
And not the shitty spreadable butter jingle that ruined my career.
I wanted to make the musicI’dwritten.The music that reflected my personality.That came from mysoul.
But I had bills to pay.And I had to find a place to live.I needed money.Fast.
And the thing about having debts was that it fucked with your creativity.
I hadn’t written a single song in years.
If I could find that creativity again, then maybe I could try and release my own music independently.But that wasn’t gonna happen anytime soon because every time I sat down to write, I was crippled with anxiety.
All I could think about was all the shit I’d been through these past few years and what I’d lost.Then I’d worry about how hard it’d be to get enough people to listen to it to have a chance of even beginning to make a living from music again.And how crushing it’d be if people hated it.
So it was easier not to try at all.But the bills didn’t go away, which was why I was having this shitty conversation.
‘Explain what the plan is with going to this hotel.’ I blew out a defeated breath.
‘You go there and create an online diary documentingeverything. Take photos of you arriving.Videos of you choosing your outfit.Talk about how nervous and excited you are about meeting your match.That shit will make you super relatable.Everyone knows how hard it is getting out there again.And because of your reputation for being a womaniser, it’ll show the public that you have real feelings and that you’re serious about finding true love.’
‘But I’m not,’ I protested.‘The last thing I need right now is a relationship.’
I hadn’t dated seriously in years and I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d hooked up.That was the other thing about having financial problems and not having a permanent roof over your head.It wasn’t exactly an aphrodisiac.
‘Semantics.’ She waved her hand away dismissively.‘You’re not going to the hotel toactuallyfind love.You’re going there to revive your career.’
My face crumpled.
‘That makes no sense.’
‘Stay with me, Jakey boy!I haven’t finished explaining.As I was saying, you documenteverything. Take photos of the woman they match you with, your first kiss… getallthat shit on camera.’
‘Wait, what?’ I frowned so hard I probably left permanent lines on my forehead.‘You want me to film the woman too?Wasn’t there an NDA?And we’re not gonna kiss!I won’t even be attracted to her.’
‘Again, semantics!You’re allowed to take photos of your match.Just not other guests without their permission.And it doesn’t matter if you’re not attracted to her.You just have topretendyou are.’ She rolled her eyes.
‘You’re getting me confused.I’m anartist. Amusician. I sing.I don’t act.’
‘The point is,’ she replied, ignoring my very important objection, ‘the public will be invested.They’ll be glued to their screens.They’ll want to follow your story.They’ll want to watch you two fall in love.And do you know what that means?’
‘Enlighten me,’ I huffed, thinking I didn’t like the sound of this idea at all.
‘The more people that are invested in your story, the more followers you’ll get.And the more interest you’ll have from the reality shows.’
‘But I don’t want to do a fucking reality show!’ I shouted.‘I don’t want to be filmed eating kangaroo testicles.I don’t want to go on a dancing show or be locked in a house with other Z-list celebrities.I want to makemusic!’
‘Ah, but that’s the genius part,’ she smiled.‘If you do this right, you won’t have to go on other people’s reality shows.They’ll give you your own!People will want to know what happensafteryou leave the hotel.Just picture it: they’ll follow you and the love of your life as you start a new life together.It’ll show the public everything: you two moving in together, getting engaged…’
