Vanessa had called on the Sunday to suggest that she came round for a catch-up, but I couldn’t.I just needed to mope and feel sorry for myself without judgement.
I knew it was stupid to be upset, given I’d agreed to a fling and nothing more from the outset, but what could I say?The heart wants what the heart wants. And sometimes it’s completely illogical.
So I gave myself the rest of the weekend to get all of my tears out of my system.Then promised that come Monday morning, I’d throw myself into work.
It helped a little.When we were busy, there was no time to think about crying.But as soon as I had even a pocket of stillness, my thoughts turned to Jake.I’d wonder what he was doing.If he was okay.Whether he’d found a way to record his songs.
And of course I wondered if he’d thought about me.
Probably not.
He’d had much more experience with flings than I had, so although I believed that he was sad for it to end, the bottom line was he didn’t want it to work as much as I did, so I just had to accept that and move on.Just like he had.
Which was why I’d pushed myself to keep as busy as possible.During the day I’d worked at the juice bar and at night, I’d been working on a plan to try and pursue my dream of becoming a full-time nail technician.
I’d popped into a few nail bars to ask if they had any vacancies, but so far I’d had no luck, which was why I was going to give the whole freelance route a go.
I had the photos of Sammie, Jasmine and the other guests’ nails, so I was building a nice little portfolio.
Now I was waiting for Vanessa to come round so that I could do her nails and take more pics.
Although we’d messaged almost every day, this would be the first time I’d seen her since I got back.
Right on cue, the bell rang.I shoved my concealer back in my make-up bag, before going to open the door.Vanessa wouldn’t care how I looked.She’d seen me at my lowest and loved me just the same.
‘Hey,’ I said as Vanessa stepped inside, holding a large bag.
‘You been crying?’ Her eyes narrowed.
‘No!’ I protested a little too much.It was sort of true.It’d been a whole half an hour since my last tears which was a lifetime compared to this week’s sob-fest.
‘Oh, hon.’ She wrapped her arms around me.‘It’ll get easier.And in the meantime, I’ve brought your prescription.’
‘Prescription?’
‘Yep.’ She loosened her arms from around my waist, then walked over to the kitchen area of my studio apartment.
Everything was open plan with wooden floors and a high ceiling.The kitchen area was to the left of the door, then there was a two-seater burgundy sofa, with a small TV opposite.There was a tiny bathroom with a shower, then my small double bed was by the window.Like I’d said to Jake, it wasn’t much.It definitely wouldn’t compare to the luxury mansion he was staying in right now.
Jake.
I wondered if I’d ever be able to go more than two minutes without thinking about him.
‘I don’t follow.I don’t have any prescriptions.’
‘Oh, yes, you do.Dr Vanessa is prescribing you wine, chocolate, doughnuts and ice cream to get you out of this funk,’ she said, unpacking the contents of the bag.‘By the time we’ve devoured this, you’ll feel much better.’
I’d already eaten enough chocolate and ice cream to sink theTitanicthis week, but what the hell.It was the weekend and calories didn’t count.
‘Thank you.Maybe I should do your nails first though.Not sure how steady my hands will be after I’ve had wine.’
‘Okay, sweetie,’ she said, following me to the two-seater kitchen table.‘So.How are you doing?’
‘Better.I miss him like crazy, but that will stop soon, right?’
‘Hopefully,’ she said.‘Normally, instead of chocolate, I’d suggest you go and find a guy to take your mind off Jake.But (a) I know that’s not you, and (b) I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t seen you fall this hard for someone before, so I have to keep it real and tell you, it’s not gonna be easy.’
Great.
