‘Yeah, will do. Take care.’
As Hannah puts the phone down, I imagine them laughing together as she tries to get Paul to wear something she thinks would suit him. Paul’s such a great dad, but still, I can’t help feeling a little envious of the fun they are having together while I am here alone.
I begin to wonder about my house back home. Would I be happier going back to Wales? I tell myself that I am simply missing Debbie. That’s all that’s wrong, but next I call the estate agent for some reassurance that I’ve done the right thing.
‘Hello. This is somewhat spooky, as I was just about to call you,’ he says.
‘Really? Do you have an update for me?’
‘As it happens, I do indeed. I’ve a young family who adore your house. I took them around on Wednesday and they’ve just this second called to say they want to make an offer.’
‘Well, that’s good.’
‘It certainly is. They’ve made quite a reasonable offer.’
Before I can listen to what they want to pay, I need to know what they are like. How many children do they have? Are they a young, happy family, just like Paul and I were when we bought the house with a daughter on the way? If I am going to hand over the house to new custodians, I want to make sure they are the right ones.
‘Oh, they’re a lovely family. Husband is an accountant, wife works for the Post Office. Two lovely little girls. Around seven and ten, I’d say. The kids loved the treehouse out the back. You should have seen their faces. Comical, they were.’
This memory of Hannah’s beloved treehouse leaves me with a mixture of emotions. She would have lived in there when she was young, had we allowed it.
‘They loved the treehouse, hey?’
‘Oh, yes. I think that was the moment the parents were sold.’
‘Okay, they sound lovely. So what sort of offer were they willing to give?’
‘Five thousand off the asking price. They said they need to put new windows in around the back, so wondered if you’d accept that.’
Those windows in the back do need replacing. They have for years; we just never got around to it and then Paul left. The family’s offer may have caught me by surprise, but how can I refuse? Winter is on the way, and while I don’t want the pipes freezing here, I don’t want them to freeze there either. My beautiful home deserves to be lived in.
‘Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll accept the offer.’
‘Oh, that’s brilliant. I don’t think there’ll be any hitches, but I’ll go back to them now and confirm.’
I sit on my bright pink sofa, looking at the felting that remains to be done and still waiting for me. I sigh loudly, knowing that nobody can hear me. I feel so sad, yet I have everything I dreamed of. I couldn’t ask for more when I have a beautiful houseboat, a hobby that keeps me busy, a gorgeous next-door neighbour, and I can decorate my home the way I want without answering to anyone. I have complete freedom to do as I please.
It has been a long time since I cried but, once I start, I can’t seem to stop. I may have convinced myself that my life has turned a very exciting corner, but the fact is I also never thought I would be alone at this age. When I was younger, I assumed I would be married, surrounded by my adult children and grandchildren. Then, if we had enough money, my husband and I would go off on a cruise somewhere in the sun to escape the coldest months. Instead, I am living on a houseboat, all alone, on the other side of the world to everyone I know. Would I have been better staying next door to Debbie? I am beginning to wonder. Today somehow feels like a day of closure. My best friend has gone home. I am reminded again that Hannah and my ex-husband have made lives for themselves without me. Finally, I am told that my house is going to be sold, and I will never be able to go back there. I remind myself that it was me who chose this new life. It’s just that when everything changes and there is no chance of turning back, there is that moment when you get cold feet. What if I’ve made a mistake? As I sit here alone with my felting, I need some convincing that selling up was the right thing to do.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sometimes, when you’re feeling low, someone comes along and cheers you up. It can be a stranger on social media, or it can be a random conversation in a corner store, but as I hear a knock on the door the following day, I am grateful to whoever it is. I could really do with seeing a friendly face right now, and when I find Abe on the doorstep, I couldn’t be happier.
‘Hey, sorry to disturb you. I know how busy you are, but I wanted to check you have lunch? I’m off to the market, can I get you a takeaway?’
‘That’s so kind of you to offer, thank you. I need to finish another two dogs before lunch although I could do with a bit of a break, to be honest…’ I shake out my arm to release the tension.
‘It’s okay. Don’t worry about getting me anything. I could probably do with some fresh air, so I might go out myself and grab something.’
‘Well, why don’t you come along with me? I’ll get you back here as soon as I can, I promise.’
It takes me all of two seconds to agree.
‘Oh, go on then. That’s a great idea. I’ll grab my coat.’
The fresh air instantly does wonders for the soul, and I realise how much I need to stretch my legs as we walk that familiar route along the canal towards the market.
‘Thanks for a great party, by the way,’ says Abe.
