“I don’t feel anything I should when I think of her and what she experienced—whatIexperienced.” I sighed, realizing how that sounded. “I mean, I feel anger and sadness, but it’s what I would feel for anyone in such a situation. It doesn’t feel…”
“Personal?” Seraphena finished for me.
I nodded.
“Ione explained that while you may look like Sotoria, and your soul is hers, you are your own person,” she explained. “You may share certain characteristics with your past—dislikes or hobbies—but you have your own memories and your owndistinct personality based on the life you are living now. Not hers. So, it makes sense that it doesn’t feel personal.”
I closed my eyes as a measure of relief swept through me. After feeling like I’djustbegun finding myself, I didn’t want to be told that I was someone else. But the relief was short-lived. “But to Kolis…”
“He will see you as Sotoria.” She confirmed what I knew already.
The rush of icy fury that rolled off Casteel caused my heart to skip. I turned to him without conscious thought, our gazes locking.
“Then I will take his eyes, and he will see nothing,” he gritted out. “That, I promise you.”
My breath snagged as his roughly spoken words lingered in the space between us, seeming to ink themselves on my flesh and carve their way into my bones, becoming an unbreakable bond.
“Careful with promises,” Seraphena warned. “A vow made by a Primal cannot be broken, and I have no idea if that applies to either of you.”
I had a feeling it did.
“That’s okay.” A cool, shadowy smile curled one side of his lips. “I have every intention of fulfilling that vow.”
My heart thumped as I fought to stop the trickle of fear that threatened to grow into a tidal wave. We weren’t dealing with an Ascended or a demis. We were talking about the true Primal of Death.
Seraphena’s mind seemed to go where mine had. “A newly Ascended Primal has weaknesses. If wounded severely enough, they can be put into stasis. And if the damage is substantial, a fledgling Primal can be killed. That’s true for the three of you.”
“But we’re Joined,” I said. “As long as I—” My body flashed cold as knowledge slithered into my thoughts. “No.”
Seraphena exhaled heavily as Casteel frowned. “What?” he asked.
“A true Primal of Death can break any bond,” she said. “If you were to fall to him in battle, it would sever the bond. They would not die.”
Cas stiffened as understanding dawned. A trickle of fear became a steady stream. “And if he went after Cas or Kieran?” I asked, even though I knew better. “Would they still be protected.”
Seraphena took another breath. “If either of them dies by his hand or will, the Joining won’t protect either of you. It would be like it never existed. He would be able to kill them.”
CHAPTER 39
CASTEEL
I was having an out-of-body experience.
You’re Sotoria.
The words Seraphena had spoken to Poppy slammed into me like a bolt of lightning to the chest, splitting me in two.
I was listening, taking in information and communicating, but half of me was reeling with disbelief, the floor feeling as if its very foundation was on wheels. I struggled to make sense of what she’d said, trying to understand how it was possible.
But my other half heard the fucking truth in her words, and a rage I’d never felt before built inside me, encasing my bones in icy wrath. Things clicked into place. Reaver and Attes’s caginess. What thatfuckhad said when he was inside Teerman and the grul, and…
For some damn reason, I thought about what Aydun had said. Not the bullshit about rejecting heartmates or destroying the realms or her, but the part about having faith in our union. Was that why he’d said that shit? Because of…who she used to be?
And what that meant?
My jaw clenched as I directed my attention back to them. I understood what had gone mostly unsaid.
He would see her as the one he’d been obsessed with for only the gods knew how long. The girl he’d inadvertently killed,then stole his brother’s essence to have. The woman he’d ripped eternal peace from. The object of his twisted desires that he’d kept caged and likely committed unknown atrocities upon.
