“Irrelevant to this conversation,” she interrupted, wriggling out of his grip and slipping to the side, deftly evading him. At least she could breathe now, though her skin felt lonely where he’d touched her. “It was simply a difficult exercise, Han. The point was to know how full magic draining works and how it feels. We all learned something, which is why we’re here at Convocation Academy.”
“But, Sabrina—”
“But, Sabrina nothing!” Iliana threw up her hands. “I’m not fragile, Han. I’m a dedicated student of my profession and Iwantto learn these skills.”
A muscle in his clean-shaven jaw ticced as he set his teeth. “No one is a more dedicated student than you are,” he ground out. “And I know you’re not fragile, but magic drain alone wouldn’t put that look in your eyes. You don’t have to put up with abuse from the likes of—”
“Itdoesmean that, Han.” She took his hand again, a bit startled when he held on with sudden fervor, his lovely eyes a bit more green than usual with anger. “What if I’m bonded to a wizard that I don’t like? I have to be able to work with anyone. That’s part of what today’s lesson taught us. Also, I don’t want to be unkind, but you are an uncat and you have no idea what full magic drain feels like!”
He was quiet a moment, interlacing his fingers with hers. “That bad?”
“If feeling like you’ve had your guts pulled out and all the blood drained from your body is bad, then yes,” she said, trying for a joke, but it came out kind of wobbly and pitiful.
He lifted his other hand to her cheek, caressing it with something like tenderness, sending her heart thumping again. “I’m sorry I was being obtuse. Did you meditate to replenish?”
“I fell asleep first.” She rolled her eyes, trying to pretend she wasn’t trembling under the feather-light caress of his fingers. “Besides, meditation only does so much when I’m this drained.”
“I can only imagine,” he replied softly. His fingers drifted down to her throat, where surely he must feel her frantic pulse, then behind her neck under her hair. “There’s something else we could try.”
She tried to shake her head, but she couldn’t seem to move, held rapt by those beautiful eyes and the devastating caress of his clever fingers. “You know the erotic techniques are for bonded wizard–familiar pairings.”
“Only because they don’t want us getting attached without permission,” he retorted, still tracing the skin at her nape, the sensation more dizzying than any magic drain. Except that her magic was rebounding, rising in response to his sweet caresses.
“Which is why we can’t do this,” she cautioned breathlessly, hoping he’d stop because she didn’t think she could.
His gaze dropped to her lips and her heart thumped in anguished anticipation. Surely he wasn’t going to kiss her. “Can’t we?” he murmured. “One kiss, just to make you feel better.”
Oh. Was that his only reason?“Han…” She couldn’t think of what to say.
He lowered his head, releasing her hand so he could wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “Let me kiss you, Iliana, please.”
What could she say? “Yes,” she breathed, the inevitable answer.
A shudder went through him, a mirror to her own trembling, his keen-edged magic palpable in the narrowing space between their lips. His brushed hers, a tantalizing caress, magic sparking between them. He groaned her name, a tremor of sound against her mouth, and she wound her fingers into his tunic, as if preventing him from escaping. She kissed him fiercely, drinking from his lips, as if she could pull his magic into her. She couldn’t, but it felt that way, her magic billowing up to fill the parched lacunae in her deepest being.
Their tongues tangled together, both of them holding tight to each other, like castaways adrift on a stormy sea. She’d wanted this forever, dreamed about it, and it was better than any of her fantasies. If only they had done this long ago…No.
With crashing panic, she remembered why they hadn’t ever done this. Why they still couldn’t.
Wrenching away from him, she nearly staggered, pressing her hands to her racing heart, her breathing ragged. Han stared back at her, blue eyes brilliant and filled with wild desire. For her.
It was everything she’d ever wanted—and everything she could never have.
“Iliana…” Han reached for her and she backed away.
“We cannot do this,” she told him, trying to sound firm, instead sounding like she was pleading with him.
“We already did.” His gaze traveled over her, leaving fire and lightning in its wake, and returned to face. “It was everything.”
“It can’t be!” she shot back at him. “This isn’t allowed. You know that.”
“It only isn’t allowed if there’s no future for us. But there will be.”
Words failed her. He edged closer, tentatively setting his hands on her hips. “I’m going to be a wizard,” he said firmly.
“I know you are.” She lifted a hand to his cheek, cupping it with a breath of a touch, not trusting herself to do more than that. “You’re going to be amazing.”
He didn’t reply immediately, a fine tension running through him. “If—when, I am. Iliana, would you be my familiar?”
