“I pushed her onto Tiffany. I used to drop her off every morning and get wasted till they came home at night. He had to pick her up because I was so drunk, I couldn’t get out of bed.”
Maria placed a hand on my shoulder. “I don’t judge you, you know.”
I smiled at my sister-in-law, a woman I have come to trust with the most intricate details of my life.
The doorbell startled us. I looked up at the clock. It was two hours before Jude was due and he wouldn’t ring anyway. He’s become a permanent fixture in my home.
Tilly opened the door then hesitantly looked over her shoulder at me. She didn't have to move aside. I knew who it was. I nodded at her, and she let Sarah in.
She walked over to where Maria and I were seated, and Maria stood up to hug her. "Lovely to see you, Sarah," she greeted.
"Hi," I offered unsmilingly.
"I have some work to catch up on and a court date to secure, so I will be off. Tara, call me if you need me." She leaned in to kiss me on my cheek, and I smiled as I waved her off.
"Take a seat," I offered Sarah, and she did. She didn't move to hug me, which I appreciated. She understood my boundaries when it came to her.
"You look well, Tara," she said as she anxiously looked around my home, "You've settled in well."
"Thanks to you, I believe,"
She looked taken aback.
"I know you had a hand in all this and, well, I'm grateful." I said sincerely.
“It was nothing. I was just glad to help. I brought you something.”
I didn't think I was ready for her gifts, so I started to refuse with a frown.
"No, this is something else." She smiled a nervous smile then handed me a small envelope.
I opened it and gasped at the contents. There were recent pictures of Becca. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I traced the familiar face engraved in my heart and soul.
“She is beautiful, isn’t she?”
Sarah nodded.
“How, how did you get these?”
"Tiffany. We meet at the park when she's taking her youngest to play. Some weekends Becca joins her. Tiffany is willing to bring her over here when Reid is away the next time if you'd like. She's on your side, Tara. She understands." Sarah looked down at her hands in her laps. "We all do, women like us."
I never dreamed of the day that I would be one of them.Women like usshe said, and she was correct in her assessment.
Women who stayed.
Women who stopped fighting too soon.
"No, I don't mean it like that Tara," she says as if reading my mind. "You aren't like us, not by a long shot. And that is why I want to help you, anyway I can."
“Thank you, Sarah, and as much as that sounds like a dream, I’d rather go about it the legal way. I don’t want to give that bastard more ammunition.” I looked at my daughter. “These are beautiful,” I motioned to the pictures. I reached across the table and took my mother's hand for the first time in years.
"I'm sorry you know, that I was not the mother I should have been. There isn't a day I don't regret it. But I want you to know that I am here now, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you have Becca back. You're a great mother, Tara. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
I smiled and nodded. I was comforted by her presence because I saw what living in fear and hate could do, it could destroy even the strongest of souls. But I also knew that love and a little hope could achieve a whole lot more.
* * *
I could now standand take a few steps without the balancing beam or support. Jude was always there within reach just in case, but he was ecstatic at my progress, and so was I. I'd started to practice every day and even walked from my dining room to the kitchen, but my apartment was not huge. Tilly would be moving out in a week, and the thought of not having her around all the time scared me. I hadn't been on my own for months, and now, the closer it got to her departure, the more unhinged I became.
