22
Hayley
2018
Eight years ago
“Just say it, Hayley.” He looks at me like I’ve broken his heart. I know I have, but I was about to make it worse.
“I’m pregnant,” I say the words out loud for the first time since I found out.
When the morning nausea didn’t let up, and the trips to the toilet became too frequent, I resorted to a couple of home pregnancy tests. By a couple, I mean ten.
When those were confirmed, I visited a doctor, and lo and behold, the diagnosis was definite. I was at least a month pregnant.
“Pregnant?” Logan runs his hands through his hair.
“The baby could be either of yours.” I hate the way those words sound. The way I rush them out, almost justifying this conversation. “I’m sorry. I just thought you should know.”
He sighs, standing and pacing the room.
“Have you told him?”
“I’ve written to him, but he doesn’t come home till next year. It’s not something I want to say in a letter or over the phone, but I did say we needed to talk. He doesn’t have access to computers and things. He’s in a combat zone. Logan, I’m so sorry.”
“You need to tell him somehow.”
“I will; I need time. I just wanted you to know that if this baby is yours, you can be in his or her life as little or as much as you want. And this doesn’t mean you have to be at all.”
He stands. “I need some time, Hayley.”
“Okay, I’m here when you’re ready.
Wyatt didn’t come back home when he was supposed to, his letters were dwindling, and I had London with Logan by my side. Logan has been by our side ever since. The paternity test we did proved that London was less than a fifty percent match to Logan, but in his heart, she would always be his. He loves her that much. A father is not the one who contributes to your creation, but the one who adds value to your life. And Logan gives everything and then some. That test was a fluke, Logan said. It meant nothing. But I knew that she was Wyatt’s daughter. The timing pointed to that.
I may not feel any sparks flying, but we’re a family nonetheless. The three of us, and Carl, of course.
“You have some explaining to do.” He walks into my office and takes a seat. I’ve been hiding in here for the last week, pretending to be swamped with paperwork.
“There’s some history between you and Mister Broody, isn’t there?”
“You’ve nicknamed him now?” I can't help but laugh.
“Don’t you go diverting the subject. E’s husband, the lady I’ve been arranging those deliveries for, how do you know him?”
I wouldn't say I like the weight I carry on my shoulders. I slam my palms against the table. If there was anyone I should be honest with, it’s Carl.
“His name’s Wyatt Barnes, and yeah, I know him. We grew up together in Redmond.” I shut my eyes, tension building behind them. I rub them a bit to ease it. “He’s London’s biological father! There, I said it. My big bad secret.”
“Oh honey, I thought—”
“So does everyone else. Logan and I just didn’t see the point in clarifying it. Besides, Wyatt was enlisted back then, always in combat zones, and he had no fucking intention of coming home, even though he promised.”
“Oh, Hay!”
The sound of my mother’s voice startles me. I look up, and she stands wide-eyed at the door.
“Is this true?”
