“When I got the news, I figured it was some bad joke.” Her eyes well up, and I wonder if I should reach out and offer her some comfort. “He barely spent time at home after we married.” She looks at me, her grey eyes spilling droplets over her cheeks. I knew that killed him. Josh spoke about her every night. He said prayers for her safety before his own.
“He was supposed to apply for something out of the line of fire. He promised that it would be his last mission. He’d get a boring desk job.”
Josh told me about that, and I knew he’d never do something like that. My friend was too noble. He had too much to fight for.
“I’m sorry, Erin.”
“Me too. Thank you for being such a great friend to Josh.” She smiles sadly.
“He was a better one,” I admit. “I was dark and broody, and he was like a beacon of hope. Making us see the best in ourselves, even when we didn’t believe it.”
She sits opposite me and pours herself another drink. “That sounds about right.”
She smiles fondly.
“It’s how I get by.” She looks at the half-empty bottle of vodka. “It’s to keep the nightmares away. It’s to fight the loneliness. Josh gave his life for this country, and all I have left is a flag, some pictures, and a list of things to do, which we will never accomplish.”
I stand and bring a glass over. I pour myself a drink.
“I never have to work, you know. The subsidy the government gives me is more than enough to live on, but what use is any of it if I don’t have Josh?”
The tears fall freely now, and I reach over the table and squeeze her hand.
I feel the urge to make it all better; I don’t know how.
Listen to your heart.
Josh’s words come to me. He’d been talking about Hayley and the fact that I should go back and marry her. Stop overthinking it. It was a bit too late for happily ever after for me, but it didn’t have to be that way for Erin.
It’s past midnight.We’d sat for hours sharing our memories of the man I called my best friend and brother for fourteen years. Some memories were happy, others not.
I told her about the war and the fight to protect the border over there. She told me about the day they got engaged and some of her most valued reminiscences.
We part ways, with a promise to keep in touch.
That is one promise I would never break.
It is a promise of tomorrow.
