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For some reason, it feels like the worst-case scenario for me. There’s a big chance Annie will never get past this, and any chance of a relationship with her is gone.

The realization is a devastating blow to my soul.

It only lasts a few seconds before a resolve to never give up surges through me.

It’s just the way I’m wired.

When things get bad, fight harder. Giving up means death, and if I lose Annie, I might as well die.

I shove the panic down, and my mind switches over to a higher gear.

A soft smile forms on my face, and my tone is gentle as I say, “It’s my darkest moment, and I struggle to live with it, so I understand what a huge blow it is for you to deal with. I won’t push you for anything, Annie. Take your time to process it, and once you’re ready, we can revisit the subject again. I’ll talk about it as much as you need to, because this isn’t about me and how I feel. It’s about you and your trust in me that’s been shaken.”

Her eyes lower to the ground, then she glances at the bed. Long seconds pass before she whispers, “You should get some sleep. You drove through the night, and it’s already getting dark again.”

I nod while asking, “And you?”

“I suppose I have to sleep as well.”

“Are you okay with us being in the same bed?”

“Just don’t touch me,” she whispers.

I absorb the blow her words deliver and let the ache spread through my body. “Of course.” I walk back to the other side, and lying down, I think to mention, “If I touch you while I’m asleep, just punch me.”

“Oh, trust me, there’s a good chance of that happening,” she mumbles while climbing into bed and turning her back on me.

At least she didn’t run screaming from the room.

Just to be safe, I cross my arms under my head, and while darkness settles in the room, I try to quiet my mind, but it’s not the problem. My heart beats heavily, and my chest feels tight, like all the warmth I’ve received from Annie has been sucked out of it.

We lie awake in silence well into the night before she finally falls asleep. Just as I’m about to start drifting off, she turns around and worms her way closer to me.

When Annie’s arm wraps around my waist, and she presses her face against my side, some of the warmth trickles back into my chest.

She might hate and fear me right now, but a part of her still belongs to me. I need to focus on that.

With time, I’ll be able to win all of her back.

Chapter 23

Annie

After the disastrous first night in Phoenix, Rowan moved us to another motel. He said it was to throw the US marshals and Bratva off our tracks in case they were right on our tails. If they found the first room, they would think we’d already skipped town.

I lean against the truck’s door, staring through the window at the harsh landscape.

This is what my life is like right now. One long drive through hell.

I feel disconnected from Rowan and hate it. I really wish I could turn back time and press pause right before I brought up the stupid idea of sharing our darkest secrets.

I should’ve known Rowan’s would be traumatizing, given his horrific past.

Part of me weeps for Katherina while the other half feels for Rowan because, in a weird way, I understand that he thinks he did what was best for her.

Exhaling a sigh, I keep looking at the deserted scenery. There’s a mountain far ahead that doesn’t seem to come any closer, and one to our left. It feels like we left civilization behind days ago, even though we haven’t even reached the border yet.

The truck shudders and shakes from the uneven ground, the tires crunching over rocks as Rowan steers it down a thin dirt road cutting straight through nothing.