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Jesus. I’m really not good at this taking-care-of-a-kid thing.

Zayn stops instantly, though he keeps his back to me.

“Home?” he says, sounding more like he’s asking than stating it. He lifts his hands slightly, as if the answer should be obvious, as if my question is ridiculous or completely out of place. I can’t decide which.

“Sierra assured me someone else would stay overnight too,” I tell him, stepping fully outside and letting the door close behind me. “Serena’s never stayed alone with me before, especially not overnight, and we have no idea if she’ll get scared if she wakes up and finds only me there…”

I stop at the bottom of the stairs, crossing my arms as I continue staring at him, even though he still hasn’t turned around.

And this detachment of his, the way he ignores me so effortlessly, drives me insane.

It’s like nothing connected to me interests him anymore. He acts like he’s already forgotten everything that happened between us. Worse, he ignores me like I’m the one who hurt him and not the other way around.

But more than anything, I don’t understand why I even need his attention. Why does it bother me so much that he’s ignoring me? When he came to talk to me, I made it very clear that our relationship was over, and apparently, he’s respecting that.

So what the hell is wrong with me?

Throwing his head back, he mutters something under his breath, but I can’t make it out. Then he turns around and walks back up the stairs toward me.

He doesn’t stop, passing me and heading straight for the door, where he presses his palm against the scanner.

When the security system flashes green and clicks open, he pushes the door inward, steps inside, and waits there, holding it open.

“You coming or what?” Zayn asks, sounding exasperated when I still don’t move.

“I don’t know which one of us is more annoyed that we’re stuck in this situation, Zayn,” I tell him as I walk past him. “So maybe lose the attitude.”

“Great,” is all he says as he walks to the stairs.

And I’m left staring at his back, wondering what the hell is going on.

In the kitchen, there’s a message waiting for me on my phone. It’s from Sierra, her reply to the text I sent her an hour ago that only said: ZAYN???

Sierra: Serena hasn’t seen him in a really long time, and she asked us to call him to stay while we’re gone. Please don’t get mad. Love u lots.

She promised I wouldn’t be alone with Serena overnight, for the exact reason I’d already explained to Zayn earlier, but not even for a second did I think she would call him.

When I heard him in the bathroom, I froze. I forgot where I was, forgot there was even a child beside me. All I could do was stand there and stare at him helplessly.

Good thing Serena immediately stole all his attention, and he didn’t notice how badly his presence affected me.

I got to Nick and Sierra’s place an hour before they left because I refused to come with them on the jet last night.

Why?

I think that’s obvious.

It took me a while to accept Theo’s project. I knew coming here would be hard for me, especially this soon.

But I also knew I couldn’t refuse to help him, so there was no other choice.

These people are incredibly important to me. They welcomed me into their circle with open arms, and somewhere along the way, Thalia and Sierra became true friends to me. I don’t want to disappoint them, and sometimes that means forcing myself to do what’s right, even when it feels like it’s killing me from the inside out.

Like now.

I pick up my mug of tea and head upstairs, planning to lock myself in my room and not come back out until morning.

If my thoughts already refused to leave me alone before, let’s see what happens now that the reason for the madness that occupied my mind nonstop is only a few meters away from me.