Page 46

Not love? Past tense?

“Then what was it about?” I say, nudging just below her ear. She clutches a fistful of my shirt before releasing me and pressing her palms into my chest again.

“My flesh for your affection,” she whispers into my ear. An exchange, no more than a power dynamic, and an artistic outlet for my sadistic nature. I nudge her again, this time brushing my lips along her cheek.

“You’re letting your vile, intrusive thoughts slip through, my Flower. Why don’t you give them all to me so that I can slaughter them?” Her ocean eyes pour a waterfall, like the edge of the Earth. I slowly follow the flow, pressing my lips to her skin again, and again, stealing her salty seawater. Lowering my arm that’s caging her in, I wrap it around her waist, then slip my other hand from the front of her to hold the nape of her neck. I nuzzle into her hair, taking in a long, deep inhale.

“Cain…” I nudge below her ear, kiss along her neck, then nudge her nose a few times before kissing her jaw. Slowly, playfully.

“Why don’t you tell me all your thoughts? Let me put you at ease.”

“My thoughts don’t matter.”

“Yes, they do. You’re lying to yourself.” I continue nudging, nuzzling, and kissing her. My thumbs provide the soothing rhythm that always brings her back to me. “Does this feel like lust, or love?” I kiss her eyelids; maybe my kisses can make her better, make her pain go away.

“It doesn’t matter what this feels like… It doesn’t change the fact that this has to end.” I swallow, my stomach twisting until it’s painful. My fingers grip her, holding her physically while she’s trying to slip away from me.

“Tell me why…” My voice is quiet, vulnerable. I don’t like this.

Just do it.

Put the ring on her finger.

Make her yours and screw it.

Confiscate her freedom.

My mind is consumed by thoughts of what I want to do, what I need to do. But my needs aren’t necessarily what’s best for her. If I do this, I’ll never allow her to leave my sight again.

Never give another predator the chance to take her away from me.

“Tell me…” I run my nose through her soft hair. My words barely make it through the frog that’s taking up my throat.

“No… I don’t want anything I say to change your mind, you know?” She sniffles, “You shouldn’t be with me if you don’t want to.” She cinches her arms around her waist. Fighting and failing to hold her feelings inside. Like me.

“But I do want to be with you.” I clutch onto her harder, pulling her into me and burying my face in her neck.

“Not in the way that I need you to,” her voice rises, her words coming out through tears, and they rip me apart. I close my eyes tight, flexing my entire body so that I don’t fall apart.

I start kissing her. Her shoulder, her neck, again, and again. Up her neck, her cheek, her forehead. Cupping her face with both of my hands, kissing her more, until I’ve found her lips. She returns my desperate affection, going on and on until neither of us can breathe.

“I will never let you go, Violet. You’re mine…” She whimpers, and I kiss her lips once again. “But if you need some space… I can give you that. Just a little space…” She whimpers again, and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me and kissing the top of her head.

Violet wraps her arms around me, and I release a breath I’ve been holding. It’s not relief. It couldn’t be, because she’s pulling away from me.

I can’t lose Violet.

I can’t lose my Flower.

Violet

Chapter 20

Finn,

I wish you were here. Things have gotten bad since you left. Uncle Richard was ordered to move in with us, assigned as the new head of the household. He gets mad a lot, even more than he used to. I try to help, but it seems that no matter what I do, he gets angry. No matter how hard I try, I seem to do everything wrong.

He raised his hand to hit me last night, and I ran outside and into the woods before he could get to me. I think Mom stepped in; he didn’t come after me for a few minutes. I watched until he went back inside and stayed out until an hour after all the lights were off. Mom was still lying on the floor when I went back inside. She has a big bump on her head now, from the countertop. I’ve been taking care of her today. She tells me that she’s fine, but I know she’s just trying to make me feel better.