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I’m going to make my last moments with him the best of the worst they can be.

Cain

Chapter 19

A day spent forging a new set of custom axes for the wood cutters would normally fill my creative cup for the day. Each one is detailed with hand engraving that would have any artist salivating. But nothing comes close to my Flower. She’s nearly healed, another day or two, and I’ll devour her. Leaving bites, bruises, and slashes. I’ve been looking over my slowly blanking canvas, and for my next piece, I’m thinking fireworks.

Opening the door to my bedroom, I’m met with the fresh smell of Violet. I fill my nostrils and close my eyes as I latch the door and lock it behind me. She’s early; I don’t require her to be here before dinner. My heart jumps when I look her over. She’s wearing my mother’s purple dress. Her arms crossed around her middle, holding herself together like a vice. Her breathing is shallow, and the tension and redness around her eyes makes my stomach sink.

“Violet?” I step forward, noting her nail digging into her cuticle. We have to nip that. I don’t like her hurting herself. Her throat works in a swallow as I take her hand in mine, putting an end to her self-destruction.

“May I ask a question, Master?”

“At ease, Violet. What’s going on?” I rub my thumb over the back of her hand and cup her neck with the other, matching the rhythm along her pulse point. Hypnotic, meditative, her favorite way to soothe.

“Will you marry me?”

My stomach knots, the soothing rhythm of my thumbs on her neck and hand stalls for a beat. She looks at me with her ocean eyes so wide, and I want to make that painful expression disappear. She shouldn’t be asking me this.

The ring that’s been sitting in my pocket for months burns.

But it’s not the time; making her mine to the world would mean taking away any freedom she has left. While Alistair is alive, it’s just not safe for her to be with me. I swallow and suck in a breath.

“No.” It’s small, but I can feel her body quiver in my hold. Her heart jumps, her neck working in a swallow.

“Oh-okay. That’s fine.” Her words come out faster than she wants them to. Breathy, disappointed. She slips her hand from mine and steps back, running her hand through her hair and tucking it behind her ears. And fuck, she won’t look at me. “You’re leaving soon, right? One last deployment before the snow comes?”

“My last deployment entirely. My enlistment is up at the end of this.” But no, you’re not going to change subjects that easily, my Flower.

“That’s great… Stay safe, okay?” Tucking the other side of her hair behind her ears, she goes to slip past me towards the door.

I don’t think so.

Shooting out my arm, I grab Violet by the throat and walk her backwards into the wall. I cage her in with my forearm by her head, and hold her neck lovingly with my other hand, stroking her pulse point. Her emotions slip through, a sputter of air as she inhales and whimpers out an exhale. “Where do you think you’re going?” I reign in the urge to kiss her, settling for brushing my lips over her forehead.

“Just to my room…” She avoids my gaze, choosing to look at the door.

“I’m not letting you go anywhere.” Her eyes close, face scrunching in a wince.

“This isn’t your choice, Cain.” She whispers, “It’s over.” Violet rocks her body forward, trying to exit, but I hold her down.

“What’s over?” I tilt my head. I know what she means, but I want her to say it. I need to know what’s going through her mind.

Her body and soul are already mine. But she struggles with giving me her mind.

“Our arrangement.” A tear spills down her cheek, and I fail to fight the impulse to dart my tongue out and catch it.

“We aren’t over; we will never be over.” Violet lays her head against the wall, finally looking at me.

“Cain, I-”

“Why do you want to get married?” Her breath stalls; she swallows.

“All that matters is your answer, and I have that.” She places her palms on my chest, pressing lightly, imploring me to let her go. “I’m not upset.”

“You’re crying.” I lick another tear off her cheek, leaning into her hands so she feels my tension.

“It’s fine.” She turns her head to the side, hiding from me, crossing her arms around her middle. “It’s not like this was about love or anything.”