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He parked his wheelchair right in front of my chair and then reached up and cupped the back of my head, pulling me down until our foreheads touched. That was all it took. I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears I had been fighting finally spilled over.

“This ain’t you,” Pops said quietly. “You hear me? This ain’t gotta be you.”

I tried to answer, but nothing came out.

“I did all the shit I did in my life so you would never have to be that kind of person. You don’t have to walk with the demons I walk with.”

I gripped his shoulder.

“Pops—”

“Nah, listen to me. You got a whole life ahead of you. You’re in school, you’re doing something with yourself, and you got people who love you. Don’t let what happened last night make you think this is who you gotta become.”

I nodded against his forehead.

“You hear me, MJ?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“I need you to hear me.”

“I hear you, Pops.”

His hand stayed against the back of my head.

“You don’t have to prove nothing to me. You never did.”

I couldn’t hold it together anymore. I bent farther down and wrapped my arms around him as carefully as I could. I made sure to be mindful of his injuries. Pops held me the best he could from his wheelchair. With one hand still pressed against the back of my head, I cried. Not because I wanted Ghost alive. Not because I regretted protecting my family. But because I’d spent so much time trying to be strong for everybody that I hadn’t given myself a chance to feel anything else.

Pops rubbed the back of my head.

“I got you, son.”

I nodded, unable to speak.

“I got you,” he said again.

For a while, neither of us said anything. I just stood there holding on to my father, wishing there was some way I could take everything he had been through and put it on myself instead. But even sitting in that wheelchair, Pops was still trying to carry me. And that was the part that finally broke me.

Chapter 28

Gia

Ihad been watching the same news station for almost an hour, but if somebody had asked me what they were reporting on, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them. My mind was somewhere else. I hadn’t heard from Giovani since he called me, and the longer I went without hearing his voice, the more worried I became. I knew my son was grown, and I knew he had a habit of disappearing whenever he had too much going on, but something about our last conversation hadn’t sat right with me.

It was his voice. He didn’t sound like himself. There was a sadness in his tone that I couldn’t quite explain, and every time I thought about it, I wished I had asked him a few more questions. He had told me he loved me before hanging up. That wasn’t unusual. Giovani had never been too grown to tell his mama he loved her. But something about the way he said it this time made me feel like he was saying goodbye.

I had been trying not to think that way. The worst part was that I couldn’t even call him. He had called me from a blocked number, and I had no idea how to reach him. I had spent the last few days checking my phone, hoping that he would call again. Eventually, I decided to reach out to Tahari. I knew things weren’t good between the boys, but I figured if anybody had heard something about Giovani, it would be him. Especially since he had come here a while back looking for him.

Only when I called, a recording told me the number was no longer in service. I had tried twice more, thinking maybe something was wrong with my phone, but I got the same message every time. Now I was sitting in my living room, worried about two boys I couldn’t reach. I glanced toward the television just as the news anchor began speaking.

“Miami-Dade authorities are investigating a fatal shooting after the body of a young man was discovered early this morning at an abandoned fairground.”

I reached for the remote and turned the volume up. The television switched to footage of police vehicles parked outside a rusted gate. Yellow crime scene tape stretched across the entrance, and several investigators could be seen walking through the property.

“According to investigators, the victim suffered an apparent gunshot wound. His identity has not yet been released pending notification of next of kin.”

I stared at the screen. The fairground. I knew that place. Theo used to take the boys there when they were younger. I remembered Giovani coming home with little prizes he had won and talking about the rides he had been on. I leaned forward to try and get a better look at the footage. The reporter continued talking about the investigation, but my attention had settled on the old Ferris wheel standing in the background.