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He pretends to zip his mouth shut then flips me off. “But first, you must tell me why you’re wearing cake?”
I round on him as if I’m going to smack him with one of these chicken filled shopping bags. Delilah, the badass assistant bar manager, who I adore, pulls me back.
“You’re lucky she was here.” I gesture to him.
He grins and sips his beer. “You can go.” I growl at him and then Delilah, in all her goth gear, dips a finger on my shoulder and tastes it. I head toward the vinyl listening room.
“You look like shit but taste divine.” I roll my eyes. “Hey, don’t chocolate cake too long, only gives him more power. He’s taken enough already.”
Dammit, Colin has the biggest mouth. I open Delilah’s hand and deposit the last hunk of cake. She nods and walks away eating it with her fingers.
“What’s all over you?” I lean down to kiss my sister and our friend Anna. I flop down on the sofa next to them picking stuck crumbs off of my top.
“Chocolate cake. Why didn’t anyone warn me that cretin is here?” Anna pulls her long blond hair behind her and then leans back to look through the archways into the bar area.
“Oh. I should go say hello. We didn’t see him.” She waves and I smack her arm down.
“Don’t be polite to him. Not tonight.” Anna wipes down my hands and face. She dusts all the stray crumbs off of me then pulls out a Tide pen. I shake her off. They all carry them for me, but this outfit is now permanently scarred so I don’t want to clean it. She then fixes my face.
“Mom called.” Courtney, my sister, ever the communicator.
I put the back of my hand on my forehead and proclaim, “My whole life is a vortex of meh. I settled for a job that fired me, a home I hated and a Chad, who I thought loved me. It was all carefully orchestrated so I wouldn’t get hurt. I had no one’s dream life but that was fine. It was my own version of a safe harbor, and now I’m drowning in chocolate cake.”
“Hand me the phone.” My sister scrolls.
My best friend, Ginny is of course the only one to pick up the job thing. I was hoping to slide it into my pathetic day and get a pass on talking about that part.
“Back it up. Your boring blurb and caption magazine writing job is gone too?” I slice across my neck with my finger. She picks at a piece of steak from one of the boxes. “You really are a go big or go home kind of gal.”
“No, I’m not. I’m a lie hiding behind a loud voice and a good snark,” I say, dissolving into sobs. “What’s wrong with me?” I ask.
Ginny gathers me in her arms. My phone gets passed around so everyone is up to speed.
“Why did he use a dog emoji?” Courtney asks.
This makes me cry harder because I don’t even understand that, let alone why he broke up with me. “Why not call me?”
Anna offers up. “Why not break up the last time he saw you?”
“Last time I saw him I was giving him umm...” I purse my lips.
I’m interrupted by a booming voice from the bar. “No man breaks up with someone while getting head.”
Ginny tries not to laugh.
“Take care of your husband’s best friend or I will,” I command.
Colin delivers cocktails to the leering couple in the corner.
“Good note for the future, now crawl back under your rock. And your hair looks too puffy,” I yell back at Zane craning my neck to see if he’s checking it out. He is. Duh.
“Chad sucked,” Anna says.
“No. Kat did” Colin adds before leaving.
They all laugh. Ginny shoos him away but he drops a kiss on the top of her head. He puts a hand on my shoulder.
“I’ll take him somewhere to eat.”
