Page 9

There’s a pause.

“Pink suitcase. Yes. And don’t fuck with me on this. Doesn’t matter who.”

I exhale as Sal says that with such resignation. Mark must somehow have seen my suitcase explode on security cameras or something but missed me being hauled into the house. I scoot back onto the floor and into the shadows as my breathing regulates.

The door unlocks and I stare up at the door frame, letting my eyes adjust on the man I want to pour my whole life into.

He grins and says, “Those gorgeous greens are hitting me right in the fucking solar plexus.”

There’s no blood. He doesn’t look hurt. I stand on shaky legs, my voice louder and shakier than I want it to be. “We are NOT broken up.”

“Good to see you too, Gingersnap.” I launch at him, and he catches me. I pat him down all over, searching for evidence that he’s ok. “I’m fine. Not a scratch.” I hold him close and he hoists me to him. I wrap my whole body around this giant man who tried to get rid of me. He kisses the top of my head and squeezes me to him.

“Is it safe?” I say into his chest.

“Never. And that’s the point. That’s why I left you. I can’t possibly keep you safe from all this shit.” I look around and I only see some broken glass.

“You cleaned it all.”

He holsters his gun, and I don’t flinch. Not sure why I don’t flinch, other than I’m in shock. He slings his other arm around me and walks me to the back of the house.

He says, “I have good people.” He lifts me onto the kitchen counter and steps between my legs. My adrenaline is pumping out of control and I put my hand on his face. It’s still shaking, but his dark, beautiful eyes are so open and vulnerable. He pushes the hair out of my face. He presses his lips to my forehead and holds us there for a minute.

“I’m not a good guy. I’ve done too much to have you.” It comes out like a rasp.

“Were they? I mean, did they deserve it? I mean, no one deserves to die but ---” My voice drops away. That’s not like me. I’m usually never at a loss for words. He puts his forehead to mine.

“Yes. And not always. I only knew some of them and whatever fucking awful you can think of, they fucking did it. There are some people who deserve it. I don’t want any of this shit touching you. But I can’t stop.” His hands run up and down my arms as he stands up.

No. He does not get to blame himself for the world he’s in. He settles on my hips and grips me hard. “You said you’re no good. That you’re dangerous.”

“As evidenced by today.” He’s so earnest.

“And you can’t protect me.” His lips curl.

“Certainly not when you do stupid shit like you did today by showing up.” I grip his forearms because I’m determined to tell him all the things that have been clawing their way out of me my whole life. My brow is furrowed and determined, and my mind set.

“That’s a look, Gingersnap. What you got?”

“Dangerous. Ok. That may be well and true. That this is all scary but sitting in that tiny room waiting to see you--” My breath is even finally. “We have no choices anymore. Whoever you’ve been in the past or anyone has called you. Those titles and job descriptions that are like out of a movie script, don’t matter. The only label that matters moving forward is mine. You’re mine. You’re my peace and every piece of me is yours. Love is hard enough even without bullets. We’ll just have to try a little harder. But so help me god, if you try to break up with me again for a bullshit reason- I will absolutely get that big guy Lou to beat your ass for me.”

He shakes his head at me. “Woman, you’re insane. Bullshit? Bullets, blood, revenge, drug traffickers, fucking assholes, made guys that will all keep coming for me, and they won’t hesitate to use you against me in all the gory ways you can imagine. And it’s not TV, it’s not a fucking movie you can turn off when it gets too intense.”

I grin because he knows I turn off shows or movies when they’re too much. I look at the ceiling and try to picture turning off my life. I can’t. Won’t work, I’m in this.

“Focus, sassy. This is the horror. They will torture you to get my power, my parts, my money, my crew. Did you just smirk at me? Come on. You’re fucking impossible. Do not raise that sexy eyebrow at me.” He gives me some side eye and then says, “Wait, you love me?”

“Unfortunately.”

His big, bold laugh rumbles through both of us. He attacks my lips. And folds my leg around his waist. I twist and slide my tongue against his. The moaning and groping is out of fucking wild control. We are lust and heat and spent frayed moments close to death.

I pull back once we’re both panting, and he steps back to get some distance from me.

“And your sassy ass thought it would be a good idea to show up here unannounced?”

“I’m sorry. I never thought…and it was terrifying, and I can’t stop…” I say earnestly because I’m not sure how this conversation is going to end. My eyes fill with tears that have been waiting for their moment.

“Don’t be sorry for wanting to see me. You can’t do boneheaded shit like this, though. I have the luxury of looking impulsive and romantic to you, but every fucking move I make and those around me has to be calculated.”