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I swipe my eyes, trying to put on a brave face for him. “I didn’t think it through. I just needed to yell at you as soon as possible.” I’m shaking and crying. I’m terrified but I’m more terrified of walking away. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I didn’t mean to get people killed.”

“You didn’t. My guys are ok, and those guys are not your fault.”

I take in some more breaths and stroke my fingers against each other. “I needed you to know that you can’t shake me that easily. But maybe not an unannounced pop-in next time.”

He paces around the kitchen and scrubs the stubble on his face. I hear the scratch and I know exactly what that feels like on my skin. A clean shave on this Italian man doesn’t last long.

“I’m a bit exasperated that everlasting happiness comes as a pain in the ass gorgeous woman.” I smile and then his face turns more serious.

“I wish I was a better man, a stranger and not so selfish. But I take. I conquer, possess. My wants don’t go unanswered in my world. And now that you’re here. I’m done denying myself. Fuck it.” I slide off the counter and he moves, lightening quick to cage me in place with his hands on the marble behind me and his face close to mine.

He’s pulled out his calm, dark and commanding tone, the kind I’ve only heard in bed. It’s almost like a growl or something so primal and guttural my body erupts in goosebumps before he speaks again.

“You’re mine. Do you fucking hear me? You don’t get to touch another man ever again. I’m so fucking gone for you. If you want this, this is what I am. I’m not dating you and hoping to catch a nice fancy supper sometime and maybe hold your hand. You don’t flirt with anyone else. You don’t answer to anyone but me. I will not be able to handle it because this is how much I want you in all the parts of my life. In my arms, in my bed and at my side. You’re all in or you’re all out right now. I cannot hear stories of you out at a bar with friends and a guy hits on you. I will hunt that man down, so he knows he touched something that wasn’t his.” I poke at him a little bit.

“Seriously, you’ll hunt down a man for flirting. That seems excessive.”

“Try me.” He flattens me with a look. “I don’t share or play well with others.” He reaches out and cups me through my dress. “And this. Mine. Only mine.” I gasp. He moves his hand back up to the counter to keep me pinned. “Understand? Pretty sure this love will kill me because I’d die for you. Christ, woman, you’re the end and the beginning of everything in my soul. How the fuck did you do that?”

I stare at him and then raise my eyebrows. “You done?” He lets his lips curl up like he can’t help it. Seeing the man behind the Don is my favorite part of being his.

“With you, I’m thinking never. So, what was your no about?” I lick my lips and look at my most unlikely perfect man. “Give it to me. I need it, Gingersnap.”

“The only thing I’m scared of is losing you. So, no. You will not get rid of me. I’m yours for more than forever. I love you.”

“Damn, that’s a sweet fucking sentence. Thanks, I needed that. I love you too, in case you didn’t figure that out. And pretty sure it’s going to be the death of me.” He kisses me deep and slow, then winks at me. “Let’s go upstairs before anyone else comes looking for me.”

Chapter

Five

Poppy

Day 8 (PS)

My eyes pop open, and a smile is on my face. Then it hits me like a 2x4 each time I wake up. He’s dead. I turn into the back of the couch and contemplate another sleeping pill. If the only place I can see him is in my dreams, then I’ll only be awake long enough to eat and pee.

I roll over and reach onto the coffee table, feeling around in the murky light for the pill bottle. And it rolls off the other side and towards the kitchen area. Shit. I’m too cozy to get up. I pull my phone from between the cushions.

POPPY: I need your help. Not 911 but important.

JIMS: Of course, my darling. Dropping the kids off at daycare and I’ll be right over. The husband is picking them up so I can spend the day helping you with your non 911 emergency.

POPPY: TY

Twenty minutes later, my best friend bursts into my dark lair. I observe the dust particles as they float down, highlighted by the sunlight.

“Poppy? Hon, are you awake? Jims Langerford at your service. Pop?”

I moan like I’m just waking up. I close my eyes to him. The couch sinks down and my bestie rubs my legs under the blanket. His hands settle on my feet. I wiggle my toes and open my red-rimmed eyes.

“Hi,” I croak out. Not sure I’ve used my voice in a couple of days.

“Love. Oh, my love. This is all very tragic. Height of tragic and you are playing the part well. But you look like shit. That can’t feel so great.” He’s impeccably dressed to drop his children off at daycare.

“Grief. I’m dressed in grief.” He sighs and squeezes my leg.

“What did you need?