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TABI: And she tried to kill you with what, an elephant?

BEN: NO! Although if I don’t find her again my life doesn’t feel worth much anymore.

TABI: This seems a tad melodramatic, Ben. She ditched you after a couple of hours. But yeah, you should hunt her down. Ladies love a stalker.

BEN: No. We were separated after the police and special forces arrived to subdue the animals.

RORY: Now I’m listening.

JONATHAN: You’re in Somerset, right? How scary are the sheep?

TRISTAN: Jonathan, pay attention. You’re so obsessed with centrepieces and favours you failed to notice he’s been at a safari park.

JONATHAN: For dinner? Oh, my expletive on a cracker. Eating exotic animals?

TABI: Yes, he had a hyena on a spit. Stick to picking cakes for your wedding.

TRISTAN: Ben, what happened?

BEN: I was leaving when this goddess asked me out. It was total love at first sight: rainbows, fireworks, unicorns.

JONATHAN: There are unicorns in Somerset? Did you eat the unicorns?

TABI: SHUT THE FUCK UP, JONATHAN!!!

RORY: Agreed. Now, can we skip to the part in the story with the special forces?

BEN: The animals went mental and started attacking everything and everyone. Then the hippos escaped.

RORY: Jesus. Hippos are fucking psychos. How many dead?

BEN: Not sure. It’ll be on the news in the morning I expect.

TABI: Is this Laurie okay? Ben, sorry I was being an ass. I do that. Are you ok?

RORY: So mortal danger is the thing to turn you sincere? Good to know.

BEN: I’m ok. I left Laurie in a room behind a barricaded door.

JONATHAN: Do you have her number?

BEN: No, but I have her name and she lives in Somerset. I’ll find her. I must.

TABI: Then it’s settled. Now you HAVE to marry her.

JONATHAN: Yeah! Another wedding!

BEN: I know. She’s the one for me.

TABI: Can’t wait to meet Laurie Driver.

BEN: I’m taking her surname.

TABI: Really? Why? What is it?

BEN: Dover.

TRISTAN: Brilliant. Also, where’s Sabrina? Can we track her on her mystery date?